The Costs of Royalty
by silverstrings
Summary: The chapters of one's life. From Home, to Fuuga, to the Volts, and the loneliness that follows. [Kazuki centric, various pairings]
1. Home

**Title:** The Costs of Royalty  
**Chapter:** 1/4  
**Pairings:** Completely random, actually. They'll be all over the place, if you choose to look for them! For this particular chapter, nothing much more than vague references to JuubeiKazuki and KazukiSakura.  
**Notes:** Written while sitting at the hospital with my girlfriend, and I had none of my other writing files on hand, so I started up this. Expect it to be rather disjointed; it was meant to be that way, hence the numerals seperating each part. This first section will revolve around Kazuki's pre-Mugenjou days, when he was living at home with his parents and learning his fighting techniques from the Fuuchouin school. For those wondering, the title comes from the common reference to Kazuki as a Prince throughout the manga and anime.

* * *

**I.**

**  
**He understood at an early age his role in life, in his family, in the world. Never did he resent it, nor did he ever cry and wail about how it wasn't _fair_ and that he wanted to run away and live his own life. Quite the contrary; Kazuki strived to mold himself into the future family head that his parents told him he would become. His studies - both academic and his fighting techniques - came no easier to him than to anyone else, but with practice comes perfection, and there wasn't a person in the entire Fuuchouin family that didn't know the boy would one day make a wonderful leader.

He also understood at an early age the importance of his parents' roles. His mother was most often at the Fuuchouin school, teaching, while his father tended to the family finances and other things that men so typically took care of. Kazuki was well on his way to learning both sides of these responsibilities, and seemed prepared to take them all on himself someday despite his mother's insistence that he would have a wife to help him. Kazuki merely wrinkled up his nose; the prospect of marriage and children seeming terribly burdensome and boring to a child of his age.

Kaede Fuuchouin, the soft-spoken but firm, elegant lady of the Fuuchouin household, spent one lesson alone with her son and explaining that a woman's grace was something one could learn even if they were male. Kazuki himself wore kimono and and played the koto and did other 'womanly' things for this reason. Thankfully, Kazuki showed promise of his mother's delicate, slender figure despite having his father's dark brown hair and eyes. She went on to explain that a woman's center of balance was different from a man's and -- many other things that Kazuki only half-heard with the attention span of a boy that wanted nothing more than to run around and play rather than be cooped up inside on a summer day.

The lesson ended with Kaede-sama stifling a laugh as her son asked, "So if I have to dress and act like a girl to fight well... does that mean _I_ can be the wife and take a husband?"

**II.**

Those at the Fuuchouin school were polite and nice enough to his face, but he knew the things they whispered behind his back were less than kind: _"What makes him so special?" "It's because he's the head-master's son." "He's already guaranteed to be next in line for the head of the family; it's not like he has to work hard like the rest of us do." "Oh - here he comes! We'd better act nice so he doesn't tell Kaede-sama on us!"_

Perhaps they thought he was stupid because he never did anything but smile and try to be polite to them. Or perhaps they thought he never heard what they said. None of them realized that Kazuki had perfected the art of eavesdropping using his threads long before his mother even brought it up in class.

Ostracized at school and receiving little interaction with children his own age otherwise, Juubei was his first friend. It was convenient, at that, as their friendship made Juubei more eager to accompany his father on the occasional physical checkups on the Fuuchouin family. _Eventually_, he was told, _you will tend to Kazuki-sama on your own while your mother and I concentrate on Kaede-sama and Ryusuke-sama._ Such a thing was still years in the future as Juubei was still learning his trade, but the thought of not wanting to let Kazuki down as a doctor and a friend drove him to spending every free bit of time at home studying and practicing.

Kazuki never noticed the way Juubei would stare at him while the Kakei siblings' father did his examinations, nor the way his best friend seemed to get a little flustered at the mention of said future where it would be his duty to 'play doctor' as it were with Kazuki without his parents' aid. It made the younger Kakei child uncomfortable, but not in an entirely _unpleasant_ way.

**III.**

The two didn't "discover" girls so much as suddenly took _interest_ in one in particular. Kazuki cared little for the girls at school; most of them were polite only because they'd been taught to be so towards him. Their lack of sincerity resulted in Kazuki's lack of interest in them.

As for Juubei... there were the few younger servant girls at his own compound and those at the Fuuchouin compound, and sometimes he watched them interact and flitter about... But their constant gabbing when they thought no one was looking and the way some of them giggled and coo'd over some of the other, older boys and men wandering around made his interest in them drop rapidly. Who wanted such a giggly thing as a wife? Suddenly, the prospect of marriage seemed a rather poor one indeed.

In fact, the only girl either of them took any notice of in a positive light was, fortunately, one readily accessible for "studying".

"Are you sure we should be doing this...?"

"_Sssh!_ She'll hear us. Keep your voice down."

Juubei whimpered, but kept close to his friend's side. Settling as silent as possible outside of one of the sliding doors in the hallway, Kazuki made careful work of nudging the door open soundlessly so that they could both peek in.

They were met with a smooth slope of bare shoulders at first and they both froze as the kimono the girl was wearing slid farther down her arms, showing the long spanse of soft flesh and back. Kazuki curled his fingers against Juubei's arm, and both watched on in a sort of awkward fascination. So... _that's_ what a girl looked like underneath all that padding and fabric...

It wasn't until she turned a little that her developing curves became a bit more apparent. She was still a growing girl, but already her waist sloped nicely out to her hips, and her breasts were small but looked so terribly soft and well shaped. Besides, it wasn't like either boy had anything else to compare to, and so the body they were looking at could have very well been the most beautiful body in the world. Juubei clamped a hand over his own face but peeked between his fingers, and Kazuki's mouth opened and he made a tiny little squeak, and that was all the noise it took to draw her attention and cause her to spin around to look at them.

For a long moment afterward, everything remained dead silent; Sakura stared at the two little faces staring wide-eyed at her half-naked form through the ajar door, and the two little faces gaped at her with the look of deer caught in the headlights.

They both started running like bats out of Hell just before Sakura could get dressed and tear after them.

Once caught and cornered by the flustered Kakei girl, both children swore up and down that she'd never catch them peeping again - they _promised_! Still angry and embarrassed but seemingly satisfied, Sakura returned to her room.

From there on after, they were much more careful to not be caught.

**IV.**

Juubei stretched out on his stomach, gazing down the hill at the Kakei compound below. Behind him, he could hear Kazuki still murmuring to himself, still practicing with his threads against a tree in smooth, even strokes. And he could hear the occasional slip-up where the threads got tangled or he missed a movement, and he couldn't help but smile when Kazuki got tangled up himself in the threads and landed on the ground with a yelp and a resounding _thwump_!.

Once free from his self-made confines, Kazuki crawled over to his friend and stretched out beside him. For once, he was free of fancy kimono and wore the same clothes as Juubei, quite the reprieve from the normal awkwardness of girl's clothing.

"What're you looking at?"

"Mm? Oh..." Juubei pointed lazily a ways down the hill, where one of the Kakei compound servants was speaking with one of the male cooks. She had her head lowered, peering up at him shyly through thick lashes and blushing ever so faintly at whatever it was he was saying to her. "Those two," Juubei explained, "they sneak away sometimes when they think _hahaue_ and _chichiue_ won't notice and spend time together. I think he likes her."

Kazuki blinked once, twice, three times as the man's head leaned down and his lips brushed against the girl's. They stayed that way for a long time, and only pulled back by the sound of the dinner bell from the compound's kitchen, at which point they hurried off. Juubei wrinkled up his nose, shifted, sat up. "They always do that."

"What, kiss?"

"Uh-huh."

"You sound so disgusted by it, Juubei." Kazuki remained on his stomach, smiling and kicking his feet slowly. "I think it's sweet."

"It looks gross," Juubei argued. "I mean, isn't it gross when your family kisses your cheek or forehead? I bet kissing like that is even grosser."

"Mm. Maybe." The younger boy rested his chin in the palm of his hands, tilted his head ever so slightly, and smiled wider. "Want to try it?"

Juubei almost facefalted right into the ground and his cheeks turned all sorts of interesting shades of red. "K-kissing!"

"Why not? You're supposed to kiss people you like, right?"

"Well - yes..."

"And I like you. And you like me, don't you?"

"Of course! We're best friends, but--"

"Sooo... Why not?" Kazuki rolled over onto his back, grinning up at his companion. With his face framed in that chocolate hair and his thickly-lashed eyes, he looked awfully pretty against the grass. Juubei's face darkened. Slowly, he scooted over.

"...Well, okay... But if this is gross, I'm going to remind you that this was _your_ idea," Juubei whined plaintively, leaning over Kazuki and placing his hands in the green on either side of the other boy's head. Kazuki said nothing, simply kept that pleasant little smile that spoke of his smugness that he'd won, yet again, and waited patiently while Juubei took his time getting the courage to wet his lips and lean down to kiss him.

It was nothing more than an awkward touching of lips pressed against lips, though Kazuki slid a hand up into Juubei's hair like he'd seen the girl earlier do to the boy. They sat there for a minute or more before drawing back, cheeks pink and staring at one another thoughtfully.

"That was..." Juubei started slowly.

"...Not gross?" Kazuki finished, and then grinned again.

"Y...Yeah..."

Down below, the dinner bell rang again, more insistently, and the boys scrambled up out of the grass and down the hill, laughing and giggling.

It was their first kiss, but it wouldn't be their last.

**V.**

It was rare that he spent alone-time with Sakura. In this case, it was Juubei who was the sick one, and so Sakura accompanied her father to the Fuuchouin compound to keep Kazuki company in her brother's stead. Granted, there was no wrestling around in the grass, or swimming in the creek or awkward kisses on the hillside, but Kazuki took her hand and led her around the entire compound with such excitement in his voice that it was obvious he was enjoying himself.

She listened to him play koto, watched him practice for awhile, sat quietly while he talked and babbled away about everything from the color of the sky and grass to why elephants couldn't jump. They were seated on a fallen tree near the river when he finally grew tired of talking. He stared at her pretty face long and hard, blinked, and said matter-of-factly, "You're prettier than all the other girls."

The quiet little smile on her face faltered, her cheeks reddened and she blinked repeatedly. Before she could think of anything to respond, Kazuki got up.

"Just thought you should know!"

With that, he grinned over his shoulder at her and toddled off back towards home, leaving her trailing after him in stunned silence.

Later that evening at dinner, Kazuki announced out of the blue that he wanted to marry a girl _just_ like Sakura, or a boy _just_ like Juubei... and that he wanted someone _so_ like them that it might as well just _be_ one of them.

Kaede dropped her chopsticks and Ryusuke choked on his food and had to be smacked sharply on the back a few times by his wife before whatever-it-was dislodged. They were so flustered that they didn't even explain to Kazuki why he was being sent to his room without finishing supper.

**VI.**

It was probably by no coincidence that his father had a talk with him some time later; (the two parents had drawn straws, with the intention that whoever drew the shorter one would be the one to have The Talk with their son. When Kaede drew the shorter straw, her husband made the mistake of laughing and as punishment, he ended up with the task anyway) it was _The_ talk... about the birds and the bees. Naturally, he managed to weasel in mention of the Kakei siblings in there, and made sure to explain to Kazuki that it was against tradition for the Kakei and the Fuuchouin families to marry into one another.

And, naturally, Kazuki looked up at him with a frown and asked, "Why?"

Ryusuke opened his mouth to say something, closed it again and gave a frown that mimicked his son's. His wife truly was the smarter of the two and far better with these sorts of things... Sending him to Kazuki with such an important talk to be had was a fatal mistake on her part. "Because... If the two families became one, then... the Fuuchouin wouldn't have doctors because the doctors would be part of the family instead of separate and..." he trailed off there, stuttered a moment, and went silent again. After a moment he crossed his arms and just nodded, a look that meant what he'd just said should make all the sense in the world.

Kazuki didn't look convinced. "But what's wrong with that? We could learn to be our own doctors."

"It-" his father again searched for words. Think before speaking, yes, that was what Kaede always told him. "It doesn't work that way."

"Why _not_?"

"...Because we're your parents and the head of the family and we _say so_." Ooh, Kaede would have his head later for pulling that card... Especially since Kazuki was all-out pouting now.

"Well," he said then, brightening, "then when _I'm_ head of the house, I'll _change_ that."

Ryusuke gave up after that and retreated to his wife with his metaphorical tail between his legs.

**VII.**

Kazuki was a young boy with but two friends, and frankly, he seemed okay with that (well, there was that Toofuin boy, Saizou. But Kazuki saw him rarely - usually only at large family events and holidays). Kaede was certain once he got older, there would be a line of girls a mile long waiting for even a sliver of his time. Unfortunately, her son didn't seem interested in such a prospect and she chalked it up to his age and hoped it would someday change.

Kazuki'd been thinking of his mother telling him that, in fact, when the attack happened. One moment his face was pressed into his blanket as he tried to find the urge to get undressed for the night, and the next he had screams and alarms jolting him upright and scrambling around to get up. Out in the main courtyard of the compound, servants were running in all directions to get away. Kazuki numbly remembered the face of one of the corpses lying in the center of the yard as belonging to the lady that did the laundry. He suddenly felt bad for not remembering her name off the top of his head.

His eyes lifted a little, focused on the few figures in the center yard standing, unconcerned, unafraid. Kazuki was afraid. He didn't recognize their faces nor their black threads, and he whirled to flee back inside in search of his parents.

Ryusuke he found near the kitchen, slumped down in a corner with his eyes sewn shut with black threads, attempting to get them open again. His attacker seemed to be taking great glee in this, as he stood there laughing, even as he turned to look at the boy standing in the doorway. Kazuki stood still and as tall as he could make himself, like the brave leader he was supposed to be. The slight peal of the bell in his fingers betrayed him, however, as his hands trembled in fear.

He could have run away right then, but the sound of his father's grunts and growls of pain as he struggled with his eyes kept him there. He would - _could_ not - abandon his father as long as he was alive.

The black thread-user remedied that soon enough. Kazuki watched the blood hit the floor, followed shortly after by his father's body. The last thing he could make out from his lips was incoherent, but Kazuki was certain it started with a "Ka". Perhaps it was his name, or his mother's... perhaps both. It wasn't something he would reflect on until later, and without a thought he spun and took off again, bare feet nearly tangling in the hem of his kimono. The entire house was a blur of flames and smoke and unfamiliar faces and familiar dead faces, so much so that he grew disoriented. All he could think was to get away from the smoke - and from the black thread users. One or two of them had a vague sense of familiarity about them - but so vague that he couldn't place when or where he'd ever seen them.

The room he finally stumbled out into, he realized, wasn't all that far from where he'd left his father. It was near the back of the compound, backed by the forest and river. The smoke wasn't as thick there, and Kazuki blinked his eyes repeatedly to try and clear his vision.

At first, he thought he was alone save for the few corpses in the room. It was quiet and dark save for the occasional flickering of flames through the large door leading outside on the walls. So it was there he tried to catch his breath and gather his bearings.

He'd _thought_ he was alone. Until he heard a second set of breaths. He stopped breathing all together. The other breath did not stop. His eyes slowly lifted, met the eyes of a stranger standing not ten feet away. His hands started to tremble again, still in fear, but accompanied by a newfound anger bubbling up in his chest. He straightened, squared his small shoulders and tried again to look as big as he could.

"What are you doing here?" Kazuki demanded.

The man gave a toothy grin that made Kazuki want to punch him. "My, my. Where are you manners, boy? Introduce yourself."

Kazuki's hands shook more. He fought to steady them. At first giving his name didn't seem like a good idea, then he realized that no matter what, he was dead anyway. "Fuuchouin Kazuki. I demand to know why you're here!" To his credit, his voice came out steadier than he thought it would. He thought he heard the corpse at his feet groan a little.

"Eeh, so you're the little boy-prince. Your head'll look good on the chief's wall," the man took a slow step forward. Kazuki refused to step back.

"If you want it, you'll have to fight me for it," he growled in a voice that was none too intimidating. And as the black threads came towards him, he could only think of one thing.

_'I'm going to die.'_

**VIII.**

His lungs burned. Someone may as well have struck a match and tossed it down his throat, because that was what it felt like. He was still choking on the taste of smoke (_death_), the smell of burning wood (_corpses_). He kept looking back over his shoulder towards the angry flames over the tops of the trees. Once or twice (maybe three times, he couldn't remember), he tripped, and Juubei helped him back up and urged him to keep running.

The Kakei compound was an awfully long run from home. Even after the Fuuchouin buildings were out of sight, the sky still glowed orange above the forest. The last hour or so seemed a blur - hell, maybe it hadn't really been an hour. Maybe it'd been more. Even still, he wanted to go back for his mother. He'd not wanted to leave her behind, especially not after she stepped in and saved him. Not even after she told him he needed to go, to run away. Where did she expect him to go with no family left?

_'Mugenjou.'_

How was he supposed to even know how to _get_ there?

And then Juubei's arms had been there, pulling him out of the building and away, forcing him to run or be dragged along. The survival instinct in Kazuki kicked in, and he ran.

And ran. And ran some more. They ran until they collapsed near the river in exhaustion, straining their ears to listen for any sounds of the black thread users coming after them. Neither heard a thing, so they settled to catch their breaths. Juubei scooted over to his friend, voice shaky. "Are you injured?"

Kazuki snuffled quietly, lay there on his side with his hair and cheek in the dirt and eyes half-lidded and glassy. He managed a tiny shake of his head.

"Then we need to get going."

"..."

"Kazuki, _please_. I _promise_ - I'll keep you safe! But we have to get out of here."

Kazuki wanted to snap at him to not make promises he couldn't keep. Instead, he nodded and slowly drug himself to his feet. This time they walked between short sprints, but Juubei never released his hand. Kazuki was able to get a better look at his friend this time; at the frightened look on his face, at the guilt he saw in the other's eyes.

Kazuki realized that it was the first time he'd ever seen Juubei cry.

**IX.**

Sakura gripped his cold, clammy hand in her own dry, warm one. The steadiness with which she did so calmed his frazzled nerves, and he looked up at her tearily. Somehow, she was still managing to smile.

"Our service... our friendship, our love is to you, Kazuki-sama," she told him in a hushed tone. "Tell us where to take you, and we will do so."

Juubei, relieved that at least his older sister had her wits about her, kept tight hold of Kazuki's other hand and nodded firmly in agreement.

The youngest of the trio looked from one sibling to another, and without really thinking he replied, "Mugenjou." Juubei looked confused, Sakura concerned, but neither questioned him.

"Then we should be going; _they_ will be here soon."

Sakura left them briefly, long enough to gather some food into a sack and get some shoes for Kazuki.

Kazuki nodded his head when Juubei asked, yet again, if he was alright, but the nausea threatening to bring him to his knees was only getting worse. Somehow, he'd managed to keep it at bay thus far. But there, standing still with nothing to divert his attention, it was becoming increasingly difficult to do so.

When they left, Kazuki noted that neither sibling looked back to their home where they were leaving their own parents behind. The betrayal of the elder Kakeis was a deep wound in Kazuki's heart, and he imagined it was worse for his friends. But neither said a word, merely kept their hold on Kazuki's hands and led him along.

He didn't ask where they were going. He trusted them.

**X.**

For three children who'd grown up in the comfort of large, financially well-off homes, sleeping in the dirty streets of Tokyo was quite the experience. They took turns staying awake, huddled together under the warmth of Sakura's shawl.

Kazuki didn't sleep. Not really. He dozed here and there. But despite his exhaustion, nightmares jolted him awake at every possible opportunity, and after awhile he gave up even trying to close his eyes. Instead he tried to lose himself in the feel of the two on either side of him. His heart felt torn to pieces but... with them there, it was a weak patchwork over the wound. They'd left behind everything of their own free will for his sake and with smiles on their faces. At present, Juubei was squeezing his hand almost uncomfortably tight but Kazuki couldn't bear to tell him to stop. Sakura was running her soft, smooth hands through and over his hair as his head rested on her shoulder.

Sometime during the next few hours, it began to rain. Thankfully the small awning overhead kept them mostly dry.

The night was cold, and Kazuki realized he was shivering. He wondered if he would ever sleep again.

**XI.**

Even Kazuki thought his friends were a little too overly cautious at times. They'd made it to Tokyo well enough, but finding Mugenjou from there was going to take some work. The easiest solution, Kazuki thought, was to ask someone for directions. Juubei and Sakura didn't seem to like that idea much. Or rather, _they_ wanted to do it, while Kazuki stayed behind where it was 'safe'.

While they weren't paying attention, he spotted a trio across the quiet street and made his way over, and it wasn't until he said "Hello" that he realized what a sight he must have looked... all tattered kimono, messy hair, dirty face... They were likely to shoo him away thinking he was a beggar.

Instead, the three stopped talking, looked down at the boy curiously. One was leaning against the door of their tiny car, another out of the sunroof, and the third against the hood with his hands in his pockets. It was the last one that grinned down at Kazuki, cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. "Lose somethin', kid?" The question seemed odd, considering he'd not said what he wanted yet. And he could think of a million answers... Instead, the man continued, "We're retrieval specialists. We'll get back anything, y'know." When one of the others muttered something about how it looked like Kazuki had no money to pay anyway, the man on the hood ignored him.

Kazuki curled his small hands into fists. "I have," he replied. "But it's nothing you can get back." _'Unless you're capable of raising entire families from the dead._' "Can you tell me how to get to Mugenjou from here, please?"

The man's grin softened into a small smile. "What're cute kids like you doin' heading to a place like that, hm?"

"I was told to go." Kazuki felt the tears stinging his eyes again. He blinked them back. At some point, he realized, Juubei and Sakura had stepped up behind him protectively, but remained respectfully quiet.

"Well, if you're all fired up to get there," he said slowly, scratching his chin and plucking the cigarette from his lips before turning to point. "Head straight down this street, hang a right at the light. Keep walking, and watch the horizon. Once you get through some of the taller buildings, you'll see Mugenjou in the distance; can't miss it. You should be able to handle it from there."

Kazuki and the siblings thanked the man - as well as his two friends - and they were off again, with barely a glance back at the trio lounging about their tiny subaru. He wondered if he'd ever see them again.

**XII.**

They approached Mugenjou with a sense of apprehension and relief. This would be their new home, they knew. As afraid as Kazuki was, he had to have faith in his mother who'd told him to come here... Faith that she knew what she was doing, and hadn't simply sent them all off to their deaths.

The fortress loomed over them, over all the neighboring buildings in the slum. The three children tilted their heads back as far as they could, and still couldn't quite see the top at their current position.

The first thing they noticed when they entered through the South Block entrance was the constant hum and static all around them. It was white noise, really, that they would grow accustomed to within a matter of hours, but it was a blaring difference from the infinite quiet of their homes.

...No, no. _This_ was their home now. They had no other homes to return to. Kazuki's was burned to the ground, and Juubei and Sakura's... was now in service to those that'd destroyed Kazuki's family. Kazuki couldn't quite get that bitter taste out of his mouth.

They still hadn't released his hands as they walked inside, through the dark city streets where everything looked as dead as it felt. They continued walking until their feet were bleeding and sore and Kazuki finally chose an abandoned building for them to take refuge in for the night. They'd been traveling for days upon days to get there; they were exhausted, sore, and had long since run out of the food rations Sakura had brought.

Tomorrow brought a million horrors and trials for them to face. Food, money, lodging, clothing... All things they were going to need while trying to stay alive in this place that people back home had called 'The Human Deathtrap'. People came in, but nobody came out the same... if they came out at all.

As the Kakei siblings slept on either side of him that night, Kazuki stared out the fifth floor window of the building up at the sky overhead, and tried to tell himself that things would get better.

Tomorrow was a new day.

-end part I.-


	2. Fuuga

**Title:** The Costs of Royalty  
**Chapter:** 2/4  
**Pairings:** Extremely various; I'm not even sure what all is going to end up with this story yet. For this chapter, expect plenty of hints for all of the Fuuga members, wherever you choose to see it. I'm trying to keep things vague and letting people use their imaginations. As for scene number **XIX**... :D Take a wild guess at who he's with. I ain't tellin'. Maybe in a nother chapter. Maybe.  
**Notes/warnings:** M/M relationships? That's about it. You have been warned.

* * *

**XIII.**

They made their new, permanent home in what Kazuki suspected used to be an old apartment building. There were no beds, which left the three making their own out of old, ratty blankets found throughout the building. Juubei and Kazuki collected them, Sakura mended them, and all three found themselves sleeping on them, curled tightly together from there on out.

The walls of the building were cracked and crumbling, few windows intact. It didn't look livable, but the children made the best of it.

They managed to get the stove top working, and the water still ran. The lights were dim and Kazuki was worried the electrical wiring in the place was a fire hazard, so they stuck with candles in lieu of light bulbs. Juubei disappeared some days and returned with either a bit of food or money he'd received in exchange for manual labor for vendors in Lower Town. Sakura took to earning money in her own way; patching and sewing and creating clothing so long as people brought her the cloth to work with.

Kazuki felt a little more useless. He didn't know how to sew, nor was he built for manual labor. His kimono was torn and dirty, but he was so loathe to get rid of it no matter how much Juubei and Sakura protested. He lost the argument one night when the pink fabric tore even farther up one side, and Kazuki was forced to give in and toss it out.

Coming home from fetching groceries one night, Kazuki found a new outfit waiting for him, made from the salvageable scraps of kimono fabric among other scraps Sakura had saved from her various projects.

Kazuki told himself he wouldn't cry in front of her, but the moment he opened his mouth to say "thank you" and Sakura smiled, he couldn't help the tears running down his cheeks.

**XIV.**

She was soft, and he liked the feel of her fingers brushing over his cheeks and jawline. He liked the way she hummed softly while she brushed his hair while his head rested in her lap. The way she smelled -- Juubei often said Kazuki and Sakura were like flowers in a dead world. He said they both had such a wonderful scent about them that reminded him of home. Kazuki just smiled.

Sakura hummed the tunes his mother used to sing to him back in the Fuuchouin home. He wondered if perhaps her own mother knew those same songs, seeing as the families had been so close they could have very well learned them from one another.

Kazuki's dark eyes drifted open as Sakura finished with his hair, and he rolled onto his back to smile up at her through his thick lashes. Sakura returned the smile in kind, brushing his bangs back from his face. "I should be getting started on dinner soon," she said.

Her lord merely nodded, but made no move to get up yet. He reached up slowly, curling a strand of her hair about his long, delicate fingers with a thoughtful noise. Sakura just blinked at him questioningly.

"You know," Kazuki began slowly, his smile widening, "you're still prettier than all the other girls."

**XV.**

Even if Kazuki was oblivious to it, Sakura noticed the way her brother stared at their Prince with such adoring eyes. Adoration and devotion beyond that required of the Kakei family to the Fuuchouin. Juubei was in love and nobody realized it but her.

It was for that reason she took to sleeping in the second room of their small home. Kazuki was plaintive at first, but quieted down after awhile when he came to his own conclusion that perhaps, being a girl, Sakura just wanted some privacy from the boys for a change. They were all getting older and all girls liked their alone time to do their own girly things, didn't they?

Still, there was more than one occasion when Sakura would wake up to both Kazuki and Juubei creeping into her room to crawl into her bed, both curling around her with their faces tucked into her neck or resting on her chest. Something in her head told her this wasn't proper at all; not only her lord and master, but her brother as well. But those were the nights they all seemed to sleep best, so she never once complained.

Kazuki still had nightmares occasionally, and when he woke from them he was covered in a cold sweat and usually darted off to the bathroom to stick his entire head under into the tub under cold water as a way to cool off and to wake up quickly. Sakura and Juubei listened quietly. The later would get up after awhile, disappear into the bathroom after his friend, and spend the next hour wrapping Kazuki up in a towel and helping him dry his hair. The morning hours that followed were spent with Kazuki curled up in his arms, hiding his face against Juubei's chest. But not sleeping, no, never sleeping.

Sometimes Juubei wondered if seeing Kazuki's terrified, teary face was a nightmare of his own. There was nothing to be done but wait for the sun to come up, and bring Kazuki's usual smile along with it.

**XVI.**

He met Uryuu Toshiki in the middle of a leveled building. The blonde had been standing atop a hill of debris with corpses littered around him. Kazuki had watched him take down every one of those corpses, who'd been after him for being in "their" territory.

Kazuki approached him as though it were the most natural thing in the world, and Toshiki turned to face him with a frown and a gruff, "What the hell do you want?" before turning away and kneeling to start checking the fallen thugs for money or anything else he might be able to filch. They were dead, after all, it wasn't like they would need any of it.

The younger boy crouched with his hands on his knees a foot or so away, smiling in that bright way of his. "What's your name?"

"None of your business." Toshiki glanced over, eyes lingering on Kazuki's face and then skimming lower over the rest of him. If ever he'd seen someone that didn't look like he belonged in Mugenjou, it was this young boy in the pink hand-made outfit and soft, messy brown hair that wore a smile that could have lit up the entire block.

It took a mere hour of Kazuki following him around through the streets of Mugenjou thereafter before he finally agreed to accompany him back 'home'.

"It's just the three of us," Kazuki told him, "well, four including you, but even a few can make a difference, right? Everyone complains about Lower Town being unbearable, but we're trying to do something about it. We want to help the people that can't help themselves."

But it wasn't Kazuki's words or his little mission-statement that made Toshiki follow him home. It was the way his eyes sparkled and the way he spoke and moved and laughed. Kazuki could have told him he was planning on taking over the world.

Something in his eyes would have made Toshiki believe he could do it.

**XVII.**

Toshiki fit in well enough in their little group although it took some adjusting. He slept in the main room for the first month and a half, until finally he was coerced into joining Juubei and Kazuki in their pile-of-blankets bed. He watched quietly the way Juubei's arms stayed around Kazuki protectively, and it wasn't until Kazuki rolled over one night and beckoned Toshiki closer that he gathered the courage to find a way to fit into their puzzle of limbs.

Eventually he settled with his arm around Kazuki's waist, just above Juubei's, and his face tucked into the curve of his prince's neck. It was the first time he'd been so close, and noticed that Kazuki did indeed smell of soaps and flowers and things that he didn't think existed inside Mugenjou.

On a night that Kazuki and Juubei didn't return home as a result of a bad storm that sent them looking for shelter instead, Toshiki found his way into Sakura's room. She kept her head tucked beneath his chin, hands curled against his chest. He could feel her breath against his skin, the curve of her breasts against his ribs, and it took all he had to will his body not to respond the way a teenage boy's body tended to respond to such stimuli.

When Kazuki and Juubei returned the next morning, they found Sakura cooking breakfast with her usual soft smile, and Toshiki taking an ice-cold shower.

**XVIII.**

They found Saizou entirely by accident. One moment they'd been fighting a few thugs that'd wandered down from the Beltline, and suddenly Kazuki was seeing threads not his own in the air. Saizou was just surprised to see them as they were to see him, and it seemed only natural to bring him back home. Toshiki seemed wary of the stranger at first, but warmed up to him after a few weeks. To Sakura, Juubei and Kazuki, it was a bit like discovering an old family member they'd never thought they would see again.

Saizou looked just as Kazuki remembered him, though didn't hesitate to comment that the other boy seemed to have loosened up a good deal from the serious face he usually had on. Saizou, in fact, smiled a lot, joked a lot, poked fun at Juubei and Toshiki's arguments -- and wasted no time in bringing up a subject for them to argue _about _so that he could sneak away and keep Kazuki to himself for just a little while.

As spring and summer rolled around, Kazuki took to disappearing to the roof of the building and lying out beneath the sky to watch the stars at night. The others respected his seeming want to be alone; Saizou took it as an opportunity to sneak up there with him and they would watch the stars together and talk of the homes they remembered. Kazuki fell asleep one night, and Saizou laid there and watched him through half-lidded eyes and a smile before carrying him back downstairs to his bed.

And it was Saizou that came home one day with a bruised and bloodied body and face, laughing even as Juubei stitched up his wounds and proudly announcing that he'd taken on three Beltline monsters all on his own and won. Kazuki looked on with a worried and disapproving frown, and Saizou looked to him with a smile.

"And you know what else? Do you know what they're calling you now, Kazuki?"

The brunette lifted his chin a little, made an inquiring noise.

"The people; they're now calling you 'The Prince of Battle Terror'. And this marks the tenth week in a row that nobody's come into our territory aside from those Above." His smile widened into a grin.

The name was both flattering and a little intimidating to Kazuki. Everywhere they went, it seemed, people were smiling and waving. Everyone recognized them, everyone knew of _Fuuga_, and the only ones that didn't like the sound of that name were their enemies.

Kazuki dipped his head and smiled a little. "Then perhaps it's time we extended our territory a bit. There are a million other streets that could use our protection."

When he looked up again, Saizou, Toshiki, Sakura and Juubei were all smiling at him, every one of them ready and eager to help in any way possible.

Kazuki felt a laugh bubbling up inside of his chest.

_'Funny,_', he thought. Somewhere along the line, he'd found a family again.

**XIX.**

He could see the Beltline from one particular side of the building, on one particular fire escape. He'd brought out blankets and pillows and made himself a small little nook there where he could go to be alone some evenings. The crisp autumn air left him a bit chilled, and so he tugged one of the blankets up around him and gazed off into the distance at the cluster of buildings that led to the Beltline doors.

Though they knew where to find him if they needed him, his followers tended to leave him be when he came there. But that night was particularly chilly and the company he received was more than welcome.

"I know you're there; you can come out if you want."

"You're looking at that place again."

"Mm..."

He felt the warmth at his back and leaned into it, felt the familiar arms slide around his waist and the face nestling into his hair. He blinked once, thought nothing of it and closed his eyes.

What started as simple affection turned rapidly into something else. Kazuki inhaled sharply, the feel of warm fingers up beneath his shirt and over his ribs and chest and nipples, another hand creeping down and disappearing beneath the waistband of his pants. He wasn't sure why he permitted it, but his body responded and he saw no reason not to continue.

He twisted and squirmed to turn around, searching out his companion's lips and drawing him into a heated kiss, made awkward by his own inexperience. He was thankful then for the blankets strewn about once his back was against them and the other boy was over him, hips pressed firmly to Kazuki's and rocking slow and rhythmic against him.

Everything else seemed a blur. The prince could think of no objections with being disrobed and ravished, especially not once the other boy was inside of him and sending every bit of coherency out of his head. The hands that were in his hair and grabbing his hips and shoulders and the ache between his legs were soft and familiar and perfect. Kazuki mouthed out soft little pleas and urges for more until his body shuddered and arched in release, sending a choked cry from his lips.

The figure above him panted and gasped out Kazuki's name, and soon they both lay there in a quiet tangle of limbs. Kazuki rolled slowly onto his side, buried his face into his companion's chest, and slept.

His body felt at ease in a way he'd never known.

But something was still missing.

**XX.**

It was a nightmare that sent him to the Beltline. A nightmare of flames and burning bodies and his mother's face telling him to go to Mugenjou. There, wasn't he supposed to find some clues to the people that had murdered his family? It'd been a few years now, and still he'd accomplished nothing. The thought made him sick.

It was why, in the dead of night, he dressed and snuck out of their small apartment for a walk. Just a walk in hopes of clearing his head.

But then he happened by the long halls leading to the Beltline doors and, dazed, he'd gone right in.

Everything was quiet enough at first, no one to be seen. The streets that stretched out before him looked similar to Lower Town's, but darker somehow. There was no presence of life there, no sense of people in their homes, hiding away for the night where they thought they were safe. After lingering by the doorway for a few minutes, the young Prince advanced forward slowly farther into the depths of the place people were afraid to speak of.

Dust upset about his feet as he walked, but his footsteps were nearly silent.

It wasn't until he was half a mile in that he realized he was rather turned around in the dirty streets and started to grow nervous. And it wasn't until he realized that he couldn't find his way back to the main doors that he was attacked.

A natural instinct to survive kicked in somewhere along the line, and it was all Kazuki could do to keep running and fighting, and then run and fight some more. He saw the creatures that often advanced from the Beltline into Lower Town. And he saw worse. Things that had the semblance of human anatomy, but with peeling and discolored skin, missing eyes, additional limbs and tentacles, exposed bones, jagged shark-like teeth. Kazuki was small enough as it was and normal grown men still looked far down at him. Some of these monsters towered over him by four or more feet. One was half his height even lying on the ground once he'd been felled by Kazuki's threads.

It rained at some point. He took refuge beneath an old, rusted aluminum awning. The water hitting it rang like thunder in his ears and made it difficult to listen for any approaching enemies, but already he was weak and tired from having no sleep nor food.

Nor water, for that matter. He watched the rain hungrily, wet his lips and extended his dirty hands out into the storm. First to wash them, and then to draw them back cupped and full of water to drink what he could before the rest seeped out between his trembling fingers. He repeated the process until he'd had his fill, and then tried to wash his face and the wounds on his body. He had nothing to bandage them with, but at least he hoped keeping them clean as much as possible would help prevent infection.

Under that awning he settled down, legs drawn to his chest and shivering, putting his tongue between his teeth so that any nearby monsters wouldn't hear them chattering. He didn't sleep that night... but it was the first and only instance that he had time to cry. With his tears came the resounding, frightened but determined thought of,

_'I won't die here.'_

**XXI.**

Juubei's hands were skilled and warm against his skin. When his best friend and doctor left him after awhile, Kazuki lay deathly still and focused on each part of his body in turn. In the end, he concluded that there was not a single inch that did not hurt.

His back, neck and hips were stiff from hiding in cramped spaces, damp corners, boxes and other various places he'd hoped not to be seen. Then there were his eyes, which were bloodshot and burning, a result of not having slept a wink in the entirety of time he'd been gone. In addition, his feet were bloodied, his legs aching from walking, arms from fighting, fingers cut and blistered from non-stop use of his threads. His ears still rang with the sound of inhuman shrieks and his own screams, head pounding.

That didn't even include the various cuts, gashes, scrapes, bruises and the one or two fractures he'd come home with. Juubei tended to every single one in turn; bandaging, allowing Sakura to stitch up what needed mending, letting Toshiki and Saizou wash him down from head to toe so he could _see_ where the injuries were beneath the dust and blood. They'd expected some sort of pained crying and whimpering from Kazuki, and were met only with silence.

And then they left him to sleep, and sleep he did. For nearly twentyfour hours, in fact, waking only when Juubei changed his bandages and Sakura came to force a bit of food and water down his dry throat.

Kazuki was never more thankful for Mugenjou's accelerated healing rate. What should have taken weeks took only a few days, and soon he was sitting up to make Juubei's doctoring job simpler on him, and he was gladly taking down as much food as they would give him. Not once did they ask him again about why he'd gone to the Beltline, and Kazuki was thankful for that.

Saizou had kept his quiet distance more often than not, but on a night that the others were out on patrols, he dutifully brought Kazuki his dinner and sat with him while he ate.

"You're looking better."

"I _feel_ better." Another bite. Chew. Swallow. "Juubei always has been a wonderful doctor."

Saizou regarded him quietly, squinting a bit. Kazuki had always told him he probably needed glasses, but Saizou had not bothered. "Indeed."

The brunette paused, lowered his fork and looked over. "Is something on your mind?"

"...No." Saizou averted his gaze suddenly, and Kazuki became aware that his friend was refusing to meet his eyes. Silently, he continued to eat. His friends were all worried for him and, he suspected, a little angry with what he'd done. Why would Saizou be any different?

Thereafter, Kazuki noticed that Saizou would never meet his eyes again.

**XXII.**

Kazuki didn't like the rumors going around of a new gang forming beneath this _Lightning Emperor_. It threatened his position having them so close to Fuuga territory. The streak they'd had of rival groups not invading their area had been broken, and every day it seemed there was someone new to go after. They were all tired. Fuuga, as strong as it was, was made of only five. Day after day of fighting groups of eight or more would make any powerful warrior tired.

It figured that the night Sakura and Juubei came to him with Raitei's location, it was storming outside and the lightning overhead lit up the sky. Kazuki stared up at it with a sense of foreboding, and called all five of his followers to accompany him as he led them through the streets with Fuuga's banner held high overhead. It was no surprise that most cleared out of their way as they passed.

The first time Kazuki laid eyes on Raitei, it was looking down at him from a hill of debris. A silhouetted figure stood below in the center of a rather large crater, bodies littered about him like broken dolls, and just as Raitei turned to look up at him a bolt of lightning ripped across the sky. Even after it faded, Kazuki realized that the man before him was still illuminated in an almost blinding light, electricity crackling across his skin. Raitei stared at Kazuki, and the banner Juubei held behind him.

Perhaps some of the surprise showed on both their faces. This... Lightning Emperor that everyone was talking about... was a boy younger than himself, broad-shouldered but otherwise rather skinny. And while his expression was hardened at the moment, Kazuki couldn't picture him looking like that often. No... normally, this was a person that had soft eyes and liked to smile.

And Raitei, having heard of Fuuga's reputation, hadn't quite expected such a young, feminine boy with such a gentle face to be its leader... Nor had he realized their group was so small. For several long moments, neither said a word, and none of the other Fuuga members stepped forward.

Finally, Raitei turned completely to face them. "Fuuga... Are you here to challenge me, too?"

Juubei, Sakura, Toshiki and Saizou stirred restlessly. Kazuki's eyes seemed to sparkle with something akin to amazement, and he smiled. "No..." he breathed. "What's your name?"

The blonde seemed a little surprised, and slowly, some of the light around him seemed to fade and his expression softened.

"Ginji..." he replied, "Amano Ginji."

Kazuki delicately picked his way down the rubble until he was standing face to face with the man everyone only dared to speak about in hushed tones. "Ginji-san, is it..." Up close, he decided, Raitei was quite handsome. Looking up into his face, Kazuki felt his heart skip a beat.

And everything he'd ever accomplished, everything _Fuuga_ had ever accomplished, everything he'd ever said he would do to make Mugenjou a better place suddenly didn't seem like enough. His small group would never reach their ultimate goals.

Kazuki knew in an instant he would follow this man to the ends of the Earth.

**XXIII.**

His head and his heart didn't stop racing for days. Nearly a week after his meeting with Raitei - no, Ginji-san - Kazuki could still think of nothing else but those soft, curious brown eyes staring right at him. This didn't seem to please some of his followers.

"He's dangerous," Saizou said at some point.

"We don't know whether he'll turn out to be an ally or a foe," Juubei added.

"People are afraid of him for a reason, Kazuki," Toshiki hissed.

And later, "Do what you think is right, Kazuki-sama. We will always be by your side," Sakura whispered into his hair as he curled up beside her to avoid the concerned and wounded looks from the rest of his family.

The next day, he stood on the rooftop of their home and gazed out over Lower Town, and when the others had joined him, he turned around with a smile and the wind whipping his hair about his face and told them, "As of today, I will be disbanding Fuuga to follow the Lightning Emperor." When he was met with silence, a bit of his courage faltered but he continued. "Those of you who wish to follow, come with me. You are all my family, I can't see myself without any of you in my life."

To that, Sakura and Juubei merely bowed their heads quietly. They then turned, retreated back to where they'd come to pack up what few belongings they had. Kazuki didn't need them to speak; he knew they were coming with him, he'd never doubted that. The other two, however...

The look on Toshiki's face could have broken anyone's heart. Saizou wore one of apathy, which Kazuki took as a bad sign. "I won't follow Raitei," he said simply. "I want nothing to do with him."

Kazuki's smile nearly faltered, but he merely nodded. He couldn't beg with them, couldn't plead that they come along. It had to be their decision, 'else what kind of leader was he?

Toshiki stood there long after Saizou left, and his Prince merely stood with him, and waited. The blonde finally locked eyes with him. "Answer me something."

Kazuki straightened, squared his shoulders, prepared for the worst. "Of course."

"Are you following after this guy because you agree with his goals, or because you're in love with him?"

At that question, Kazuki's smile crumbled and left something indescribable in its wake. "I don't..."

"You do," Toshiki corrected, and turned abruptly. "It doesn't matter either way, I guess." Or maybe he just couldn't stand to hear one answer, and would not have believed the other. "I won't stick around to see you bending your knee to _anyone_."

"Toshiki..."

"_You_ are my leader. _You_. No one else. Kazuki of the Strings should bow to no one."

With nothing further to say, Uryuu Toshiki walked out of his life.

Kazuki remained on the roof until Juubei and Sakura returned to him. They would stay one night more in their home, sans two of its usual occupants, and tomorrow they would leave and not look back.

The former Fuuga leader curled up beneath warm blankets and between two warm, familiar bodies that night. He did not sob, but Sakura could feel the wetness on his cheeks when she reached up to brush his hair from his face.

Kazuki tried to sleep, and told himself that everything would be okay.

Tomorrow was a new day.


	3. Volts

_if i'm so wrong, how can you listen all night long?  
now, will it matter after i'm gone,  
because you never learned a goddamned thing.  
you're just a sad song, with nothing to say,  
about a life-long wait for a hospital stay.  
and if you think that i'm wrong,   
this never meant nothing to you. _

- "Disenchanted" My Chemical Romance

**XXIV.**

  
It became quickly obvious that taking a place at Raitei's side was not done as easily as Kazuki had thought. Perhaps he'd become so used to being idolized by those that knew Fuuga that he'd assumed it would guarantee him a well ranking position in the forming Volts. 

No such luck.

If anything, it made it more difficult. People _expected_ him to fight his way up. And fight he did.

The first people to challenge him were easy enough; simple half-wit thugs that were better suited for scrubbing toilets and doing laundry than fighting. But the harder Kazuki worked, the more difficult his opponents became.

He met Shido that way. Shido, the Beastmaster, the one that reminded Kazuki a little bit of Toshiki with his quiet sullenness and hard gaze. Except where Toshiki's eyes softened when he looked at Kazuki, Fuyuki Shido yielded for no one.

Kazuki came out ahead in the end, though just barely. Shido's method of attacks required him to be up close to his opponent, and Kazuki's method of defense was not to _let_ anyone get close. Shido was fast, Kazuki was faster. Shido was strong, but not strong enough to tear through Kazuki's silk threads.

Kazuki heard somewhere that Shido had the power to call on animals, and later wondered why it was that he hadn't during their fight. Shido would one day tell him that it wasn't the animals' job to win him a place at the top. It was something he had to do on his own.

Eventually the fights became fewer and farther between. In the end, there were three that simply surpassed all the others and the hierarchy of the Volts fell into place.

Kazuki hoped he'd made the right choice.

**XXV.**

  
The outer circle of the Volts was made up of the lowest-level lackeys; the ones that proudly bore the name jackets (most of which Sakura herself had sewn) but held no authority over anyone. They were soldiers, and most of them were happy to be so. 

The inner circle consisted of the higher-ups: Emishi, Juubei and Sakura, to name a few. They were strong and held some level of authority, but they weren't the best.

The top four were dubbed The Four Kings by those beneath them. MakubeX, the genius-child. Kurusu Masaki, the wielder of light. Fuyuki Shido, the Beastmaster. And Fuuchouin Kazuki of the Strings, still referred to as The Prince of Battle Terror.

Those that were resentful of the Kings' positions muttered under their breath that it should have been three Kings and a Queen, or that Kazuki was a Princess of Battle Terror more than a Prince. Not to mention the whispers of Shido being an uncouth barbarian, and the things they said about MakubeX and Masaki... were best left unrepeated.

Masaki said he'd been alive too long to let such things get under his skin. Shido wasn't the type to let what others said bother him. MakubeX just tried his best to smile and not let it bother him.

Kazuki sewed shut the mouths of everyone caught spreading such rumors.

After awhile, people either stopped talking, or made sure to do it where Kazuki and his threads would not hear.

**XXVI.**

  
It didn't matter that they held the title of the Four Kings. When it came down to it, Ginji - Raitei - was the true King of them all, and the four were merely lords, princes below him. 

This suited Kazuki just fine, as his position gave him the same power he had when leading Fuuga, and it permitted him plenty of time with Ginji that no one in the outer circle ever received.

Ginji commanded them all. He gave his Kings their orders, they relayed them to their own sub-groups and each King along with his own second-in-command, as it were, made sure those beneath them followed Raitei's orders. Naturally, Juubei stayed close to Kazuki and acted as his own second. Emishi with Shido, Kanou with Masaki, Sakura with MakubeX. Kaoru was placed beneath Masaki as well, as much as she fussed and threw a fit that she wanted to work with Raitei directly.

One by one, each group fell into a routine of what their self-assigned jobs were. MakubeX's group set to installing and maintaining cameras around Lower Town, and with Sakura's help, the two kept track of food and supplies within the Volts' control center (which was really nothing more than a run-down apartment complex that was practically given over to them by the landlord).

Masaki's group patrolled the outer areas of Lower Town. Shido's kept closer to the center near the largest areas of trade and vendors. Lastly, Kazuki's team, the largest of the four, gravitated closest to the Beltline. Ginji once asked him what it was about that place that fascinated Kazuki so much, and Kazuki told him about the time he'd gone there. Ginji's response was unsurprising, "Why would you want to do something like that?"

Kazuki gazed off towards the halls that he'd barely made it alive from long ago, and he smiled faintly. _'Why indeed...'_

**XXVII.**

  
He almost went again not a week after his conversation with Ginji. It'd been years since his last attempt, and far be it for Kazuki to let anything scare him so much that he couldn't face it. He'd become so much stronger since his days in Fuuga, and he thought perhaps that strength was enough to get him farther into the Beltline than he had before. 

But once he reached the doors at the end of that long hall, he found himself rooted to the spot and the memory of everything beyond broke him out into a cold sweat.

The mental debate of whether to advance or turn back was still waging itself in his head when he heard that all-too familiar voice behind him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"..." The look he turned around and gave Shido was a rather guilty one, and he replied with a rather lame, "Nothing."

"Uh huh." The Beastmaster advanced forward, stopping just by Kazuki's side and looking at the large doors before them. "I heard you went into this place before."

"A long time ago, yes," Kazuki admitted.

"And you made it out alive? Impressive."

"Well, I obviously didn't make it out dead."

"You're too noisy to be dead."

"Why, thank you."

The pair continued to stand there and stare for awhile, as though expecting something to change about their surroundings or for the doors to open all on their own. When nothing happened after a long ten minutes, then simultaneously turned and began their trek back out of the halls. Once back out in the open with the sky bleeding overhead and the sun scarcely visible over the rooftops in the distance, Kazuki meekly asked, "Could you do me a favor...?"

"I won't tell Ginji," Shido drawled, shoving his hands into his pockets. "...So long as you do a favor for _me_."

Kazuki regarded him, too curious to be wary. "What might that be?"

Shido stopped then, lowering his gaze, shuffling his feet a little. Kazuki came to a halt as well, turning to face him. The faint blush on Shido's face accompanied by the awkward frown made a laugh slip past Kazuki's mouth. "Come on, Shido. You can tell me." He put his hands behind his back, took a few steps forward and peered up into the larger man's face with a smile. "What, don't tell me that you're crushing on me, Shido? I'm flattered."

The Beastmaster growled a little at that. "Don't make me hit you. I hate hitting girly-boys even more than I hate hitting girls."

Kazuki laughed. While he had no idea what it was Shido wanted from him, he knew it had nothing to do with _him_, but it was oh so much fun to tease the awkward man. "Well then, what is it?"

"...Sakura."

Blink. "Sakura?" Oh my. "Do you-"

"Stop getting the wrong idea!" Shido snapped. "I just wanted to ask for some spare scraps of cloth, if she has any... for the cats." He looked down at his feet, scowling. "They've been cold..."

Ah, suddenly it made sense. So many people regarded Shido oddly when he spoke of his animal friends as though they were humans, and not wanting to drive anyone away, Shido made a point of being discrete when he brought them food or whatever else it was animals wanted. Kazuki's expression softened a little. "Why don't you ask her?"

The taller man muttered something inaudible, and Kazuki decided not to press the matter. Shido didn't talk to much of anyone beyond Ginji, Emishi and himself... so asking him to approach Sakura, whom he'd never said more than one or two words to, was no doubt strange for him. Kazuki spun around lightly, nodded and began walking again. "I'll ask her."

"...Kazuki?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me; just don't tell Ginji-san and we're even."

**XXVIII.**

  
The lower level Volts members were the ones that kept watch when the sun went down, and alerted the Kings should anything suspicious pop up. Kazuki loved the nighttime, the time where he was able to lie down close to Raitei with Sakura and Juubei at his back. The Lightning Lord practically radiated heat, and in close enough proximity, there was a light tingling that would start to creep across Kazuki's skin. 

Raitei - no, Ginji-san - never had a complaint with the way Kazuki curled so close at his back. Nor did he say anything to the fact that the distance between them seemed to become increasingly small over the months. By the end of the first year, Kazuki slept barely a few inches away, and could have easily reached out to touch the blonde were he so inclined.

Not that he were ever so disrespectful as to try such a thing. He kept that careful distance away, and always closed his eyes and fell asleep first, as though doing otherwise was somehow disrespectful.

Despite his efforts to be discreet, Kazuki's feelings toward Raitei were as plain as day to anyone that knew him well. Sakura watched, quiet, and Juubei tried to pretend the situation didn't exist. The inner circle of the Volts said nothing regarding it. It didn't concern them who and what Raitei did with his time - even if the ▒who' included Kazuki.

Not that Ginji himself was any more aware of it. There were a million other things to be concerned with, and Kazuki was the one that tried so endlessly hard to take some of the burden off his shoulders while gently instructing him to rest and eat and not worry so much. Kazuki was a friend, and a friend was better than a subordinate and much more needed.

The storms that hit during the winter were especially brutal in Mugenjou. Buildings that were already falling apart but still being used as homes were destroyed with the onslaught of rain and lightning, and the monsters from the Beltline took it upon themselves to seize the opportunity of weakness and descend into Lower Town.

The holidays were, unfortunately, no time for celebration for the Volts.

The rains hit one night like a wrath from God. Raitei and Kazuki found themselves in the middle of it, clear across Lower Town from where they needed to be to take refuge in the warmth and relative comfort of their home. Ginji vouched for finding other means of shelter for the night, and Kazuki wasn't inclined to disagree.

They took up residence in a storage room of some store or another, and stacked up boxes to block the broken window they'd climbed through. It kept out the wind, left them in darkness and safe from the elements so long as the owner of the shop didn't happen to still be around to discover them.

Ginji didn't seem too bothered by the cold, though he started peeling out of his shirt to wring it out and lay it out to dry. Kazuki, on the other hand, stood shivering by the door, tongue between his teeth to keep them from chattering. Regardless of discomfort, the thread-user's eyes strayed to Raitei, watching him move about the small room as though he were right at home. When the pants started to come off after the shirt, Kazuki blushed and averted his eyes politely, hugging himself and dripping rain water in a neat little puddle on the floor.

"You should get out of those clothes," Ginji told him calmly. It was more or less an order, and so Kazuki reluctantly began peeling off the damp sweater that clung heavily to him like a waterlogged second skin. His shoes and pants followed, and he, too, lay them out over some crates and boxes to dry. During this process, Ginji found a few wool blankets upon rummaging around. He lay one out, studied it a moment, then set the others down before stripping free of the rest of his clothes. Socks and boxers were put with the rest of his wet garments.

The brunette kept his gaze elsewhere, but again, he did as Ginji did, and pondered letting his hair down for the mere fact that it made him feel a little more... covered.

From his peripheral he could see - sense, almost - Ginji settling down onto the dry blankets and drawing another around his shoulders.

"Kazu-chan? Come on. I don't want you to catch a cold." It wasn't like _he_ ever got sick. But Kazuki wasn't him, and he was painfully aware of how prone ▒normal' people were to illness.

Another order given, another order obeyed. Kazuki moved to him gracefully, sinking down to his knees. Rather than offer him his own blanket, Ginji opened up his own.

By some awkward string of events, Kazuki found himself settled between Raitei's legs, leaning against his chest with Ginji's chin resting atop his head, and he was never more aware of a person's body. Ginji's skin was damp but warm, warmer than even the blankets pulled thickly around them. The blonde's arms were wrapped about his slim form. Everywhere that Ginji-san's skin touched his - which was, well, all over - tingled faintly. When lightning and thunder cracked overhead, the tingling increased, and he would hear - no, feel - Ginji's heartbeat pick up a notch until the sound had faded. Kazuki shivered, and in the back of his mind realized that this was a rare chance indeed, to be completely alone with Raitei this way. He debated trying something, anything, no matter how small, just to show his interest.

He didn't. The moment seemed too perfect, and he simply wasn't willing to try anything that would anger Ginji and make him pull away.

This was good, he decided. This was good for now.

** XXIX.**

  
Juubei wouldn't take him the way that Kazuki wanted him to. He was too gentle, too inexperienced, too worried that doing such a thing would prove disrespectful. He might have done it, if Kazuki flat out ordered it. But the thread-user accepted the fact without much grief and no such orders were given. Juubei wouldn't shove him down and take him, the way Saizou had, the way Toshiki might have, the way he wished Raitei would. 

Since Juubei wouldn't take him, he took Juubei, instead. The older boy was so painfully shy and quiet, and Kazuki found it charming in a way. It was something he'd always loved about Juubei - his awkwardness and inability to be confident in anything other than his family-taught skills.

And so Kazuki taught him, and Juubei learned quickly just where the long-haired man wanted to be touched and when. He learned that the spot just at the hollow of Kazuki's throat sent shivers down his spine when Juubei's tongue ghosted along it. He also learned that where he lacked in the noise making department, Kazuki made up for by plenty.

Kazuki muffled his sounds into kisses, against Juubei's throat, shoulder, chest... anything to keep passerby from overhearing. Not that he cared if anyone knew what they were doing, but he simply didn't want to be interrupted. It had happened once, and Kazuki spent the rest of the evening in quite the foul mood.

And Juubei knew he was a replacement. A replacement because Kazuki slept so close to Raitei at night but couldn't work up the courage to touch him and the thread-user took out his pent up frustrations out on Juubei, who really didn't mind all that much because it was _something_ and it was _Kazuki_.

Kazuki knew that Juubei knew. It was why he ended every one of their sessions with a sincere apology, and Juubei gently told him there was nothing to be sorry for. One day, he knew Kazuki would get up the nerve and his self-restraint would snap, and something would be done about his feelings toward Raitei. Juubei knew that Raitei wouldn't reject him because, well, in his mind, who in the world could have rejected Kazuki? And when that day came, Kazuki would no longer need him for such things.

Juubei selfishly, foolishly, hoped that day to never come.

**XXX.**

  
"In this new place that we're moving to, I think we'll be able to give people their own rooms," Ginji told him one afternoon. "We'll have to double up, but still... It's better than sleeping in the warehouse, yeah?" ▒The Warehouse' was their current building; an apartment building, but most of the walls were either falling down or had been knocked down and made for little privacy. 

While privacy was a beautiful thing, Kazuki felt his heart sink a little. Their own rooms meant not sleeping near Ginji-san at night. "I see... Doubling up, you said? Who am I to be rooming with?" Naturally, his first guess was Juubei, which was more than fine with him. If he couldn't have Ginji in his room, then Juubei was his first choice.

"I don't know." The blonde's brows drew together and he lifted his gaze back towards the Babylon City towers they'd been studying. "I guess I was just gonna let everyone figure it out for themselves."

Kazuki paused. "...You'll be rooming alone, I assume?"

"It's going to be a tight enough fit as it is," Ginji shook his head. "So, no; I'll be sharing just like everyone else." That was so like Raitei, though. He disliked putting himself above anyone else, whether it came to rooms, duties or food.

A hopeful light sprung back to Kazuki's eyes, and he picked his words carefully. "Did you have anyone in mind for a roommate...?"

"I guess..." he smoothed a hand back through his hair, "I guess not... Whoever doesn't mind having me, really."

_'As though anyone would, Ginji-san.'_

"If you didn't mind..."

"Mm?"

"Me - I mean, ah," he trailed off, tongue foolishly tripping over itself in an attempt to articulate his thoughts.

He didn't have to. Ginji looked down at him from the pile of debris he was seated on, and he smiled a smile that lodged Kazuki's heart in his throat despite it beating a million miles a minute. "I'd be honored if you wanted to let me say with you, Kazu-chan. I was sort of hoping you'd ask."

Kazuki swallowed the lump in his throat, and he smiled warmly while trying not to look so pleased. "Really."

"I guess I'm sort of used to having you sleep nearby now, y'know?" Ginji turned away again. "I think Shido would rather room with someone that didn't mind all the animals... I figured MakubeX would be more comfortable in a room with Masaki-san, though it's not like he leaves his computers much... And Emishi gets frustrated with me."

"Oh?"

"Aa. I don't usually get his jokes, so..."

Kazuki bit back a chuckle at that. "No, Ginji-san. It's just that his jokes aren't funny."

For the first time in Kazuki's memory, Ginji laughed, and he felt warmth sending a shiver up his spine.

It was the most beautiful sound in the world.

**XXXI.**

  
Shido was a loner, and he preferred his privacy more than any other person Kazuki knew. So that he was stuck rooming with Emishi, the thread-user could sympathize. 

It wasn't that they didn't get along, but even Shido could only take so much of his friends and there were nights where Kazuki would come across poor Emishi stuck sleeping out in the hall after Shido had kicked him out.

Juubei, not so surprisingly, stayed with his sister. Some people murmured that it was inappropriate, but they had an odd number of girls needing roommates, and when Sakura offered that she would be the one to share with a male, Juubei had instantly stepped up and insisted that it should be him. He already knew that Kazuki would be rooming with Raitei; Sakura was the only other person he cared to spend his time with.

Kazuki almost wondered if Juubei and Shido would have been a good match for roommates. Juubei didn't mind animals, and he was quiet. Both qualities Shido liked in a person.

"Be thankful you didn't get stuck with someone else, Shido," Kazuki liked to point out.

"You're right," he would reply irritably. "I could have gotten stuck with you."

"Ehh? I'm worse than Emishi for a roommate? I'm hurt."

"You're noisy. And you smell like a girl."

"Forgive me. Should I start rolling around in the dirt before coming to visit?"

Shido actually cracked a thin grin at that. "Wouldn't help the scent any, but go right ahead. Just let me watch."

"You have odd turn-ons," Kazuki said evenly. Shido paused, turned an amusing shade of red and scowled at him. The brunette smiled over at him, long legs swinging slowly over the edge of the rooftop they were seated on.

"Tch'. You'd think you'd be more concerned with Ginji's kinks than mine, you poof."

His expression sobered quickly and he blushed, looking away. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, please. Spare me." Shido tugged at the scarf around his neck (compliments of Sakura) with a soft noise, like some dog displeased at being collared. "You've been dying to get into his pants for months." Kazuki was a bad liar, and so he didn't try to argue that. Of course he'd been wanting to, but he hadn't been _trying_ to. "You might as well make a damned move and get it over with. You get cranky when you haven't gotten laid."

"Are you keeping track of my sex life, Shido?" Kazuki's cold tone was accompanied by a thin smile.

"No." The Beastmaster was unphased, glancing at him askance. "But you do realize that I can smell it on you, when you've been with Juubei."

Again, Kazuki had nothing to say to that, and remained painfully silent. "..."

"He doesn't mind being the occasional fuck-buddy, huh? Good for him."

"He..."

"He what?"

"...Nothing. You're much more inclined to talk to someone when it's degrading and embarrassing to them, aren't you?"

Shido considered, and shrugged. "Yes." He ignored the baleful look from his companion. "You know, this is why you humans are irritating. You like someone, and you dance around him or her like you're walking on eggshells. Animals aren't like that. They like someone, they make themselves known, make themselves noticed and bigger and flashier than all the others to get their prospective mate's attention. You'd rather sit back and give someone else the opportunity to snatch the one you want right out from under your nose."

Kazuki scoffed. "Ginji-san is hardly open to the idea of a relationship..."

"How do you know?"

"Because, he≈Just look at him. He's too busy. He doesn't notice the way Kaoru or any of the other girls thrown themselves at him and flutter their lashes..."

"So? I don't imagine the leader of the Volts falling for some dimwitted tramp that doesn't really know him the way you and I do."

"Ginji-san isn't going to get snatched away... And I don't get it. Are you trying to _en_courage or _dis_courage me from making a move..?"

"Neither. I'm just saying you should make up your damned mind to either do something, or to move on with your life and get over him." He went quiet, and Kazuki said nothing, so he added in a much gentler tone, "You always have Juubei, yeah?"

"...Nn."

"He's head over heels for you. Most people would kill for a mate that dotes on them the way he does with you."

"Oh, I would kill for him, and I have." Kazuki said matter-of-factly. "But he's not... He... It's hard to explain." With a sigh, irritated with him over the entire subject, Kazuki rose and dusted off his rear and the backs of his legs. "Thank you, doctor Shido. Drop my psychiatry bill in the mail and I'll remember to forget to pay it."

Shido looked over his shoulder and up at him, grey eyes blinking slowly. "You're a pain in the ass, Kazuki. You know that?"

The thread-user flashed him a more genuine smile, long lashes lowering halfway. "That I am."

**XXXII.**

  
Their battles were brutal. Whereas rival gangs usually backed down at the sheer size of the Volts, there were outsiders that came into Mugenjou with no pre-existing knowledge of Raitei and his Kings. That wasn't even including those that descended from above. The creatures from the Beltline, yes. Those were the real threat. They maimed and killed and stole without a second thought. So when MakubeX informed the people on watch in the dead of night that there was an attack in E-Block, everyone startled awake and scrambled from their beds with a sense of urgency befitting the situation. 

For as many woke up, only a few were sent out. Raitei went, as he always did, with Kazuki and Masaki hot on his heels while Shido stayed behind with MakubeX to wait in case a second wave was needed. It was foolish to send everyone to the same place at once. It was just asking for trouble to pop up elsewhere.

Kazuki still had nightmares of the Beltline, despite being able to remember so little. They tended to hit him hardest after battles like these, where he came face to face with the hulking, human-esque people terrorizing Lower Town. But he faced them without an ounce of fear on his face, and a fair share of them were fed to his threads and sent either scampering back to where they came, or to the ground in shrieks and yowls.

Juubei was a familiar, welcome presence. To his left, right, all around him, constantly watching his back and leaving him free for more elaborate attacks that rid the area of more enemies at a time. It was a shame, really; he loved to watch Juubei fight, despite the nervousness it instilled in him. Juubei wasn't graceful the way that Toshiki had been, but there was such strength and pinpoint accuracy in Juubei's movements that Kazuki found it hypnotizing.

But there was little time to watch him then. Not when he was too busy trying to keep his pretty little head from getting knocked clean off his shoulders, and when he could hear Ginji nearby all on his own.

The sky filled with light as lightning shot through it, and it told Kazuki exactly where Raitei was and that he was heading in their direction.

Almost as welcome as Juubei's presence, Ginji▒s was a presence Kazuki could _feel_. Physically feel. It was a tingle up the back of his neck, a dangerous prickle at the base of his spine. Given any other situation, such a feeling tended to leave him feeling a little flustered and bothered, but at the moment it was reassurance that he had not one, but two people to watch out for him.

Kazuki reared his head back, just barely avoiding a hand - gloved, with metallic nails carved into fine points at the ends - swiping at his face. He hissed out a curse, brought up his left hand and got the threads between himself and the attacker. The more threads in use, the more effort it was, and for a brief moment he left his right side open.

A brief moment was all it took for someone to occupy that space, and by the time he turned around and his brain registered that is was foe, not friend, it was too late to avoid damage. He tried to leap back, but his feet caught and he stumbled, and his back hit the ground hard enough that he lay there, momentarily winded.

The fist coming straight for him caught his attention quickly enough and he rolled to the right, planted his hands on the ground and hauled himself up lightning quick to dance out of harm's way. The Beltline thug caught hold of one of his legs and yanked before he could get far, and he hit the ground face-first this time, jaw smacking sharply onto concrete and making him see stars. It wasn't as easy to pick himself up, but regardless he managed to twist around and plant the heel of his foot into the man's jaw.

Man, creature, Kazuki wasn't sure, because the _thing_ took the opportunity to jerk its head back, turn and sink razor-sharp fangs right down into his ankle. Kazuki choked on a snarl. Somewhere in the fall, he'd lost one of the bells, and so he reached up to grab for the other one in his hair.

There was no need. Ginji was there and on the man-thing not a heartbeat later, an arm around its throat in a headlock. He didn't dare try to zap him just yet, not with it still holding onto Kazuki. The monster snarled, bit down harder just as Kazuki snagged the second bell. It did, however, release its hold on his other leg in favor of reaching its large hands back and slamming his claws into Ginji's shoulders. Thankfully, give its position, getting a good grip on Ginji was impossible. Still, the sight of blood being drawn made Kazuki hiss.

_"Juubei!"_

Having had difficulty pinpointing Kazuki's location, Juubei caught Kazuki's voice and sucked in a breath, tearing through the surrounding attackers. It took not a second for him to evaluate the situation, and the Beltline thug released Kazuki's ankle immediately the second it had two tobari hitting him right between the eyes. It howled, Kazuki skittered away and Ginji let go of the charge that had been crackling beneath his skin impatiently.

Kazuki collapsed back, bell still between his fingers and propped up on his elbows as Juubei rushed to his side, and he stared at the thug collapsing to the ground with a series of twitches. He then looked to Ginji, not even winded and half-grinning down at him.

Kazuki was angry.

**XXXIII.**

  
His ankle healed in just shy of twenty-four hours, with Juubei's gentle care. He had even found Kazuki's other bell in the dirt, and cleaned it delicately before returning it to him. Kazuki solemnly thanked him, and suppressed the urge to ask how Ginji was. It had been a long night, with plenty of wounded to attend to... and yet there Juubei was, devoted as always, taking care of Kazuki first and foremost. 

Juubei had him drink a cup of oddly flavored tea, insisting it would help with the pain. Kazuki didn't tell him that this pain was nothing at all, and instead obediently drank the warm liquid down before telling him, "Juubei, there are other people that could use you right now."

The needle-user looked at him askance, and then dipped his head. "I was told they had it covered for now and they would come get me if I was needed."

"That's because you're impossible to get away from me sometimes," Kazuki said gently. "Please; you've taken wonderful care of me. I'd rather you be helping some of those Lower Town residents that were injured."

The older man huffed out a quiet breath and nodded. "As you wish." He rose to his feet, looking oddly guilty. "I'm sorry, Kazuki. If I hadn't let you out of my sight, this wouldn't have-"

"Please don't." The slighter man smiled up at his friend, reaching out for his hand and giving it a squeeze. "Trust me, it's okay. It wasn't your fault."

Juubei gave another solemn nod, lowering his gaze and clearly not believing the words. But Kazuki had spoken, and Juubei would not argue. He began to excuse himself, pausing just by the door with his hand on the knob. "...Raitei is fine, by the way. He heals even faster than the rest of us do, so I didn't even bother stitching up his wounds."

Kazuki let the silence linger in the air a moment longer before nodding and quirking a smile. "Thank you, Juubei."

After he was left alone, Kazuki finished his tea and lay back with his eyes shut. Not to sleep, but merely to rest and enjoy the silence. It wasn't often he had a moment completely alone. Then again, it wasn't often that he _wanted_ to be alone. Alone meant leaving him with his thoughts, and he didn't like that.

Hours later, he'd just started to doze when the door creaked open and the familiar shuffle of steps entered the room. Kazuki was instantly alert but didn't open his eyes. Ginji was being extra quiet, easing the door shut and toeing off his shoes, carefully sliding off his over-shirt and letting it fall to the floor. It was torn anyway, as was the white t-shirt beneath.

Instead of going to his own bed, however, Ginji stepped over to Kazuki's and leaned over him. Kazuki purposely slowed his breathing to better feign sleep, and barely refrained from jumping when the blonde's fingertips carefully brushed his bangs back from his face. As brief as it was, the touch made him open his mouth without opening his eyes.

"With all due respect, Ginji-san, please don't do that again."

Ginji startled and jerked his hand back. "Ah- I'm sorry, Kazu-chan... I thought you were asleep-"

"Not _that_," Kazuki corrected, sitting up slowly and lifting his lashes. Ginji regarded him with a frown, and Kazuki swallowed hard. "I'm asking you not to get in the middle of my fights again."

The Lightning Lord's expression sobered quickly. "What was I supposed to do? Stand there and let him hurt you?"

"I could've handled it." He shifted a bit, decided that his ankle was okay to stand on and slowly did so. "Juubei was there to help me if and when I needed it. I've been in worse situations; this was not one in which I needed aid."

"With all due respect, Kazu-chan," Ginji replied quietly, "but there's no room for wounded pride and egos in the Volts. We help each other out in order to stay alive; there's no shame in that."

"My pride is hardly the thing that's wounded!" he snapped, and his tone had Ginji's eyes locking onto his face worriedly. "I will _not_ have you getting injured on my behalf! What if one of the others had come up behind you? What if you'd been injured worse than you were?" Kazuki took one careful step towards him, and then another, and the room was small enough that even those two steps put him right in front of the blonde. "Don't do it again. Do _not_ risk yourself for me!"

"Kazu-chan." Ginji's tone was still so calm, so gentle, and he quirked the tiniest of smiles that took all of the steam out of Kazuki's tantrum. "You're being selfish. I want to protect my friends; how can I do that if you won't let me?"

Kazuki said nothing to that. He crossed his arms stiffly, suddenly aware of how cold the room felt and how warm Ginji was in comparison. He swallowed back a lump in his throat and blinked the tears from the forefront of his eyes. He wouldn't cry. Not in front of Ginji.

The blonde's next move was slow, careful. His arms slid around Kazuki's thin frame and tugged him into a hug, one hand against his back, the other gently cradling the back of his head. Kazuki shuddered, hesitantly unfolded his arms to get them around the blonde and proceeded to cling to him as though he were drowning.

Ginji's voice was a soft hum near his ear as he smoothed one large hand over the brunette's hair soothingly. "I'm sorry I worried you, Kazu-chan. But _you_ worried _me_, too, you know..."

All of the worse case scenarios of the day's earlier incident came flooding back into Kazuki's mind, and he let out a choked noise of frustration. He needed Raitei, _needed_ Ginji, and the thought of him dying for anyone, let alone _him_...

Bravery made Kazuki lift his head, impulse made him take Ginji's face in his hands and desperation made him lean up and kiss him hard and deep and insistent. The blonde let out a noise of his own, more of surprise than anything else. But he didn't push Kazuki away. Not then, and not ten minutes from then when they were trying to make do with getting one another's clothing off on one of the small beds pressed to either wall in the room.

Ginji-san didn't push him away, and Kazuki was glad.

**XXXIV.**

  
If anyone noted the change in their relationship, nobody dared to say a word. Kazuki wouldn't have been surprised if the others remained oblivious to it, seeing as he and Ginji kept it behind closed doors. There was no need for rumors to start. Rumors involving Ginji playing favorites, or Kazuki putting out just to keep his spot as one of the Four Kings. 

Shido knew. Shido knew, but he did nothing but look at Kazuki long and hard early one morning, when he'd come down from his room for a drink of water and still likely smelled strongly of Ginji and sex and sweat, and it took him a moment to realize that Shido could smell it all on him. He'd blushed, forgotten quickly about his water and retreated upstairs.

But Shido didn't tell a soul, and Kazuki reminded himself to thank the man one day.

Juubei knew. Kazuki wasn't entirely sure whether or not he knew, but Juubei did, because Kazuki didn't come to _him_ any longer and there was only one reason that could have been: He'd found someone better.

Ginji came to his bed most nights, when he wasn't too tired. Sometimes he simply wanted to lie near the thread-user, sometimes more. Kazuki didn't spend a single night not wanting him there, and if he came home and Ginji were already in bed, it was him that crawled in with the blonde.

No sweet, loving words were spoken by either of them. Kazuki had lived with the feeling long enough that he knew it well: He was in love with Raitei; painfully, heart-clenchingly so. But Ginji-san, he felt, didn't need to be bothered with such things. Perhaps Kazuki put him above an emotion such as love, or perhaps he simply didn't think himself worthy of any sort of such feelings from the man he admired and respected so much. Ginji, likewise, never said anything to him beyond the shy little phrases of, ▒you're pretty, Kazu-chan', while sliding his callused fingers through the impossibly long strands of Kazuki's hair. He loved those words and the motions that accompanied them, and he never asked for more.

Kazuki liked to think that Ginji chose him as his second-in-command because of his skills and not because they were sleeping together. And really, he didn't make it known to anyone else. It stayed at a thoughtful comment one night of, "Kazu-chan, if something ever happened to me, you'd make sure the Volts were okay, right?"

The brunette opened his eyes and looked at him quietly. "Don't say such things, Ginji-san. Nothing is going to happen to you."

"But if something _did..._"

"..." He sighed, gave the blonde's jaw a nuzzle and nodded curtly. "I would do my best, yes."

He was certain that the longer they slept together, the closer they would become. But something started to happen that Kazuki didn't like; Ginji started to become more distant. Not irritable or angry or snappish with him whatsoever, but he came to Kazuki's bed less and less. There were nights that he would sit there and stare at the thread-user, as though expecting something from him, and Kazuki would attempt to speak, and the look on Ginji's face always told him that what he was saying or doing wasn't what he wanted.

The first night that Ginji slept with his back to Kazuki was the night the thread-user knew something was very wrong.

**

XXXV.

**  
Midou Ban showed up.

How the fight started or ended was any one's guess. But it happened, and that was the last anyone saw of Ginji. A few people reported having watched him leave Mugenjou with that dark-haired man that had wandered into Volts territory, and Kazuki refused to believe it. Ginji had never left Mugenjou before; why start now?

"Check the South sector."

"We... We already did, Kazuki-san"

"_Check it again_."

"They did check it again, Kazuki," came Masaki's voice. "They checked everywhere over and over. Ginji's gone."

The boys standing in front of Kazuki turned and fled quickly the moment the brunette was turning around to regard his fellow King. "Ginji-san wouldn't leave." He tried to steady his voice and found it wavering. "He wouldn't just _leave_."

"He would, and he did." Masaki looked down at the younger man mournfully. "The Volts are in a panic. Ginji left you in charge if something ever happened to him, didn't he? Pull yourself together and start acting like a leader."

Kazuki stiffened and his dark eyes hardened. "Nothing happened to him, Masaki-san. _That man_ took him out of here somehow."

Masaki didn't argue with him further. The next day, he was gone, and Kazuki couldn't say he was surprised. Denial was set deep, and Kazuki spent days suspecting that Ginji would return. He told as much to the Volts, who grudgingly followed orders but grew increasingly anxious as the days turned to weeks.

Kazuki didn't cry. Not even when Shido left, not even when he came to the conclusion that, yes, Ginji had left of his own volition and, no, he was not coming back. It was really only a matter of time before the Volts completely disbanded, and what they were left with was the small inner circle that still looked to Kazuki as nothing more than what he was: a miserable, broken-hearted man that didn't know what to do with himself or the people that were still willing to follow him. Perhaps if Masaki and Shido had stayed behind and backed him up, there would have been hope. But what was he, if his own Four Kings wouldn't support him?

Juubei was his rock. Or he tried to be. With no words to offer that would have been of any comfort, Juubei merely slid into Kazuki's room, sank down onto his bed and allowed the thread-user to lay in his lap.

It had been several months. Comfort was beyond him now.

"You're good to me, Juubei," Kazuki murmured absently. The needle-wielder bowed his head.

"I only offer what you deserve."

The words warranted a hiccup and a soft, despairing noise from Kazuki, and he didn't dare say anything else.

**XXXVI.**

  
His depression had fully set in the night that he left. He'd tried to take Juubei to his bed, and Juubei would gladly have gone, but it did nothing for him. He felt little. Which was, unfortunately, still more than he'd felt in weeks anyway. 

He slid from his bed and from the room that he'd begun sharing with Juubei shortly after Ginji left, and he escaped the building in favor of taking a long walk to clear his head.

Clearing his head, it seemed, included leaving. One second, he was standing in front of the North exit of Mugenjou, and the next he was outside and walking slowly down the streets he'd not seen since he was a child. They were still different, still miserable, and he now noticed the lack of that ever-present buzz that he'd grown so used to in Mugenjou. Funny how silent everything sounded without the white noise to occupy his ears.

He was so strangely calm, as he thought on how Juubei would react when he woke up and found Kazuki not in his bed. Kazuki could play it out on his head: Juubei would go to his sister's room. They would look for him in the building, calmly, and when he was nowhere to be found, they would start asking around about him. Soon, they would have MakubeX looking through his surveillance footage for any sign of him, and what few Volts members were left would be sent out to search.

His search party would be significantly smaller than Ginji's had been.

They would be upset with him, no doubt. Kazuki nodded his head slowly in response to his own thoughts. Yes, definitely upset. Perhaps they'd even be angry with him. That would be good; they never got angry with him, and he imagined that they should. He was selfish and deserved their anger once in awhile. They'd been such wonderful friends, allies, companions... They'd thrown their entire lives away, all for him.

And he was leaving them like old toys because, as much as Juubei's touches and gentle promises of safety were beautiful and wonderful, they also reminded Kazuki of two very important things.

Juubei couldn't protect him from everything, try as he might. He couldn't protect Kazuki from heartbreak and rejection, betrayal, abandonment, but oh God knew how he would try. And, oh, how ill equipped Kazuki was to handle such things after so long of having his way. And he shouldn't have _had_ to have Juubei protect him from everything.

Juubei was his own man, and he'd never spent an ounce of his life doing anything that wasn't in some way for Kazuki. Train, to better protect Kazuki. Study and read, to better serve Kazuki. Eat, sleep properly, in order to be in top shape for Kazuki's sake. He'd never once felt guilty about it before; it was what Juubei was born to do. But now, taking every slow and calculated step away from Mugenjou, it pained him more and more how much he'd ruined his friend - both of them, Juubei _and_ his sister.

That was his unselfish, subconscious reason. His selfish reason was that every time he looked at the siblings, he remembered Fuuga. He remembered home and his mother and days by the lake and warm cider and beautiful kimono and winter festivals... He remembered fireflies and fires and his home going up in smoke and how every thing he'd ever sworn he would do in life, he'd thus far failed in.

Juubei and Sakura reminded him of failure.

To tell them as much to their faces would have crushed them.

Yes, this way was better. They would grieve, they would be angry, and, eventually, they would overcome it and become their own people just as they should be.

As for Kazuki, he would sleep on the street that night in favor of saving what little money he had for food. It would need to last him. And so he curled up on a cold, frost-covered bench in a dirty park and shivered throughout the night without ever _really_ falling asleep.

Tomorrow was a new day.

Kazuki could think of no reason why he wanted to face it.


	4. Annaiya

_If the world is crumbling down,   
I don't wanna be alone, no,   
locked up in this place.   
I heard the world up, late night.   
Holding my breath tight,   
Trying to keep my head on right.   
There's a chill in the air,   
nobody could care,   
how you're caught up,   
in the fight of your life. _

- "Heard the World" O.a.R.

**

XXXVII.

**   
There was something wrong with the world when the first thing one had to do in the morning was blink the frost from their lashes, and then take stock to make sure they still had all their fingers and toes. 

The nights were brutal, and Kazuki's health paid the price for free bedding in the park. His throat was cracked and raw from coughing, his lungs made odd wheezing sounds when he inhaled. His eyes were watery almost constantly and he could scarcely breathe. 

Those symptoms alone might have been tolerable, save that he had a fever to top it all off. Said fever left his head swimming, blurry, and he walked the streets of Shinjuku in a zombified state with no real direction or clue as to what he should be doing. 

Depression wasn't helping him fight off the starvation and illness. For as many times as he'd been sick in his life, he couldn't recall it ever lasting more than a few days thanks to Juubei's treatments. But now he was going on two weeks, and he'd eaten nothing in days because he couldn't be bothered to dig through icy trashcans behind stores and restaurants anymore and had only a couple coins in his pocket that equaled not even enough to purchase a can of juice. Laying there on the park bench, curled in on himself as tightly as possible and wheezing quietly, seemed like a much better option than looking for food right then, anyway. Scavenging meant moving, and he wasn't quite up for that. 

He must have stayed there in that exact spot for nearly twenty-four hours before someone took notice of him. By then, however, Kazuki's skin was scalding to the touch and he would have welcomed some mugger to come along and slit his throat and take his (pathetically empty) wallet and put him out of his misery. For as long as he'd been lying there, he'd never really been able to get to sleep, and oh, God, he was so tired. 

A voice called to him. A woman's voice, if he could tell correctly. When his lashes lifted he tried to take stock of the figure crouched in front of his bench and peering at him in concern. Vision being as blurry as it was, there was little he could make out beyond the green eyes. Irritated that his 'rest' had been interrupted, Kazuki's eyes drifted shut again, and he didn't so much as budge. Within a few minutes, he was unconscious. 

**

XXXVIII.

**   
He woke up in a hospital. That alone was terrifying in its own right, as he'd only ever seen them on television. 

Disoriented, he looked around with wide, frantic eyes and took note of the IV into his arm and the TV above his bed with the volume nearly muted. He sucked in a breath. The next thing he noticed was that he _could_ breathe, mostly. His stomach didn't hurt quite so bad, and his head felt clearer than it had in weeks. 

"Ah, you're awake." 

His gaze shifted, flicking to the semi-familiar figure seated beside his bed. 

She was young, perhaps his age or a few years older. Her silvery, wavy hair looked so impossibly soft to the touch, and she wore a man's suit tailored for her slim body and had her legs neatly crossed. Perhaps she'd been the one watching the television. Kazuki swallowed hard. "Where am I...?" His throat felt dry, but not as sore as he remembered it being. 

"The hospital." The woman gestured about the room as she rose from her chair. 

"You brought me here?" The thread-user swallowed again to better wet his throat, and his voice came out closer to normal. "Why?" 

"You didn't look like the type that belonged on a park bench in Shinjuku." She had a lovely smile, very befitting of her gentle face. Kazuki found his manners and tried to offer a smile in return. 

"Thank you, Miss...?" 

"Clayman," she told him. "Just call me Clayman." 

"Clayman-san, is it." 

"Mmhm. Do you have a name, or should I refer to you as 'the stray' like all the nurses have been doing?" 

Kazuki started to chuckle, but thought better of it given that his chest still felt constricted. "Kazuki. Fuuchouin Kazuki. Thank you, Clayman-san." 

"That won't be your name here, just so you know," Clayman told him. "I had to give them a fake name and address so that they would see you. And please, there is no need to thank me." She sank down onto the edge of his bed, and Kazuki slowly made a move to push himself up into a sitting position. He startled briefly when Clayman reached down and pressed a button along the side panel of the bed, and it moved in order to aid his sitting-up process. "I don't suppose you had a reason for being half-starved and running a coma-inducing fever in the middle of a park, hm?" 

"I..." Kazuki thought of excuses, and came up with none. "I left my home," he admitted in embarrassment. "I wasn't very sure where to go." 

Clayman tilted her head. "Where are you from?" 

"Mugenjou," he replied without thinking, and grimaced to himself. 

"Mugenjou? Really?" She blinked her large green eyes at him. "Ah, no offense, I assure you, but you just didn't strike me as the type to live in such a place." 

"Perhaps that's why I left." He looked down, studying the IV leading into his arm with quiet curiosity. Ah, so that was how they worked... "Things weren't... working out so well there." 

"And what were you planning on doing out here?" 

Another pause before the thread-user lifted his head to look at her, and his smile reminded Clayman of a lost puppy. "...I don't know, to be honest." 

Clayman cocked her head. "It must have been bad in Mugenjou, for you to leave in the dead of winter with no money or place to stay, and no job lined up." 

"I'm certain I'll find something," Kazuki said quietly. "I'm just gathering my bearings and... trying to figure out just where to start." His tone of voice sounded tired, and Clayman politely dropped the subject as Kazuki seemed quite done with talking about it. She watched him, and the way he slumped down a little as though he wanted to curl in on himself and go back to sleep for another few days. 

She suddenly found the term 'stray' sadly fitting. 

**

XXXIX.

**   
She was his only visitor. She came once a day, and stayed as long as she could - usually through dinner. She informed him that he'd been unconscious for a good three days while they tried to get his fever under control. 

But it figured that the one day she didn't show up was the day the hospital discharged him. 

At least he was able to get a short shower before hand, better than washing up in public restrooms by at least a little. The hot water didn't work, so the shower was a cold one, and then to step back outside into the biting air made him want to crawl right back into the hospital for warmth. 

The nurse that escorted him out gave him a polite bow. Kazuki turned to her, smiling. "I don't suppose you have the number of the young lady that brought me here?" 

"Ah?" She looked up at him, perplexed. "I'm afraid we don't, sir. She never left us any contact information." 

Kazuki frowned, perplexed. "I see... Thank you." 

And he left the safety and warmth of the hospital to wander the streets again, and went back to being unsure what to do with himself. 

He'd been so determined to somehow repay Clayman for her kindness, but if he couldn't even _find_ her... 

Around noon, he seated himself outside of a cafe on a bus stop bench and removed a small can of juice that he'd taken from the hospital, cracking it open and taking a slow drink. The name Clayman had given the nurses for him.. It was a familiar name, one that lingered in the back of his brain. A celebrity, perhaps? No, too easily recognizable. A musician? Writer? His eyes fell half-shut in thought for a few long minutes, and then snapped wide again in realization. _'Ah, a painter...'_

On the off chance that the name might have been some sort of clue, he rose from his bench and, by the end of the afternoon, had found himself at the library, getting use of the computers there as he looked up the name. It took him the rest of the evening to figure things out, and even then, for all he knew the name Clayman had 'given' him was quite possibly something she'd pulled out of thin air and he was following invisible leads to nowhere. 

Except that he found her apartment after those hours of searching, under a name that certainly wasn't 'Clayman', but he wasn't investigating to find out about her personal life. An address worked just fine, and a few days later he found himself on her porch step. He looked a bit bedraggled, certainly, and apologized sincerely for intruding. Clayman merely smiled at him and invited him in. Despite his slightly wounded pride, he accepted the offer for a meal, some hot tea and a shower, but insisted that, no, he didn't need a place to stay. 

Not that it mattered. Despite his protests, they stayed up late into the night talking about everything under the sun, and before he realized it, he was waking up the next morning on her couch with blankets covering him. He was warm, comfortable and in silence for the first time in several weeks. The hospital had always been noisy, rarely comfortable, and warm could be debatable given that the blankets were thin, he'd been wearing little, and the room was cold. 

Given their conversation the previous night, Kazuki figured he would be busy the next few days. Clayman had been impressed with his investigation skills, and told him that there just might be a way he could repay her, since he kept insisting he had to somehow. 

Later, she would tell him the details of the little 'job' she had for him, which involved stolen paintings that were possibly forgeries, and finding out just who had taken them. 

It certainly wasn't leading a gang, but Kazuki figured it was a good start to a new life. 

**

XL.

**   
The term 'annaiya' was thrown around with the work Kazuki took to doing. It suited him just fine, as he was good with information and, well, eavesdropping had always been a specialty of his. Clients paid him (and paid him well) to find documents, hack computers, find out things regarding rival businesses and yakuza members... Police paid him for info on everything under the sun, from gangs to drug and weapon deals to crooked cops within the force. He was good at his job, and the payments came in and soon he wasn't sleeping on the streets. 

A cheap motel offered relative warmth, a shower (even if not always hot), and even sometimes company. Kazuki was no social butterfly, but given his calm nature, he found it easy to strike up conversations with some of the most interesting people. Everything from the manager of the motel he stayed at - who eventually gave him the number to an apartment landlord that gave him a good deal on a place of his own - to a foreigner that became his contact for fake identification and computer hacking, to a blonde, busty Mediator named Hevn that sent jobs his way now and then. 

His new apartment remained pitifully empty for a long while, until he broke down and spent some saved money on a few furniture necessities such as a bed and table and, eventually, a laptop. The later burned a hole in his pocket for a long while, but it did indeed help with business and he was able to reach a point of financial stability that he'd never really known since leaving his home years prior. There was no reason to go hungry anymore, nor be cold when sleeping at night. 

The first night that he realized Juubei and Sakura were still likely struggling for food and cringing beneath icy showers was the night Kazuki first hated himself for leaving without them. 

**

XLI.

**   
He found Ginji mostly by chance; Hevn-san had mentioned a set of Retrieval Specialists that often worked for her called the GetBackers, and Kazuki sipped his tea and listened to her prattle on until Ginji's name was mentioned. He inhaled sharply, choking on his drink, and Hevn had to stand and abruptly smack him on the back a few times while he coughed and tried to find his words. 

He went to the Honky Tonk without ever going in. Instead, he stayed across the street and watched with wide eyes, ignoring the cell phone vibrating in his pocket with the promise of more jobs. 

Hevn had been right; The GetBackers frequented the Honky Tonk nearly every day, so Kazuki needn't wait long before the small Subaru 360 rattled up and parked - illegally, Kazuki noted - in front of the cafe. It was the first look he got at Midou Ban; spiky hair, purple glasses, squared shoulders and thin and carrying all the confidence of the world on him. Kazuki took one look at him and thought, _'Good lord, he's a walking ego.'_

Ginji slid out of the Ladybug, all broad shoulders and, surprisingly enough, smiles. Kazuki sucked in a breath and fought back the heartbeat threatening to jump out of his chest. Ginji's hair was still messy, hanging down in his face now, and the cold weather didn't seem to be bothering him much despite that he was wearing a t-shirt and shorts. 

Say what one would about Raitei - Ginji - but the boy was more observant than people gave him credit for. He paused at the door of the cafe and lifted his head, turning to cast a glance around. With a faint jingle of bells, Kazuki ducked behind the corner of the building he'd been leaning against, and held his breath until he was sure it was safe to come out. 

_"Oi, Ginji! What're you doing?" _

"Uh-? Nothing. Sorry, Ban-chan, I'm coming!" 

His heart twisted behind his ribs. _'Ban-chan?'_ The door swung slowly shut, and Kazuki forced himself to turn and walk away. 

The next few times he returned to stand and watch, keeping carefully out of sight, he idly wondered what he could or should say if he actually gathered up the nerve to go _talk_ to Ginji as opposed to being quite so... stalkerish. 

But Ginji came to him, instead. He stood 'round the corner of the building as per usual, and when he straightened and went to step back out into the light, he came face to face with the blonde and stood there gaping at him with wide eyes, debating whether or not he should run. Why running was an option that popped into his head, he wasn't even sure. 

"Ginji-san." The name came from his mouth like a bad memory he'd not dared to speak of in months. It occurred to him that he really hadn't spoken to anyone regarding anything but work since leaving Mugenjou. Juubei's name, Sakura's name, Ginji's and Toshiki's... all held under his tongue like dark secrets fit to destroy him. His chest tightened. 

"Kazu-chan." There was a time that Kazuki would have killed for that smile - but he'd seen it so often the last several weeks, watching Ginji with his new partner, and it wasn't quite a special thing anymore. It wasn't something Ginji reserved only for those most special to him. Ginji-san had smiles for everyone anymore. 

"You... Ah, fancy seeing you here." To insinuate he had no idea Ginji would be there was a lie and he inwardly cringed. 

"Fancy seeing me for the sixth time in as many weeks?" Ginji watched him, that same little smile on his face. Kazuki wanted to reach up and push the hair from his face, to make it look the way it used to. Things couldn't change - he didn't want them to change. Not anymore than they had, at least. Ginji's words warranted another internal wince. "You've been watching me, right?" Ginji continued lightly. "At first I thought I was just going crazy, and then I heard them." 

"Heard...?" 

The blonde's smile widened into a grin, and he reached out to lightly tap one of the gold bells in the thread-user's hair. It chimed in response, a pleasantly familiar sound to Ginji's ears. "I heard them," he repeated. "Just barely. Then I saw you. Ahh, it's so good to see you, Kazu-chan!" 

The million and one questions Kazuki had saved up in the back of his brain to ask if he ever saw Raitei again didn't budge. He could think of nothing to say as the hurt and hopefulness faded to black and anger replaced it. "No, you're not. If you were, you never would have left in the first place." 

He turned to walk away. Ginji didn't try to stop him. 

**

XLII.

**   
They were unfair words and Kazuki knew it; they rattled about in his head all the way home, where he cursed himself under his breath. He'd had a chance - a chance to see and talk and touch Ginji again, and he threw it away for a few spiteful words that had probably only hurt the former Volts leader. It wasn't what Kazuki had intended to do. 

Which was why he went back the following week, and contemplated actually entering the Honky Tonk when he saw the Ladybug outside. He stood just outside of the cafe doors, staring at them with his heart in his throat. The minutes rolled by, and he didn't budge until a voice startled him into doing so. 

"Excuse me...? Is everything okay, sir?" 

Kazuki turned sharply, sucking in a breath and taking in the young girl standing there in a waitress' apron with a grocery bag in her arms, with a familiar blonde at her side, equally loaded down with food. 

"Ah, Kazu-chan!" 

He tried to smile, failed, and flicked his gaze to the girl with a polite nod of his head in acknowledgment. The girl - Natsumi-chan, Ginji later told him - seemed sweet enough, and she understood that the situation was not one for her to be involved in. As such, she moved past the brunette and into the cafe, leaving Kazuki and Ginji standing there before its doors. 

"Um..." Ginji's gaze went from the door to his friend to the Ladybug and back again. "I gotta take these groceries in; do you feel like... I mean, wanna go for a walk or something? We could talk." 

His mouth opened, closed, opened again, and he managed a brilliant reply of, "I'd like that." 

After the blonde ducked into the Honky Tonk to hand over the bags, he emerged again, halted by the thread-user's side and grinned. "C'mon! The park's this way." 

"Ah, Ginji-san-?" 

"Eh?" 

"The park is _this_ way, I believe..." 

"Oh." Pause. "Yeah, s'what I meant." 

They had fun. Ginji prattled on about things Ban-chan had shown him Outside, the jobs they'd been doing as the GetBackers, among other various random topics. Kazuki listened to it all just as silently as Sakura used to listen to him, and he treated Ginji and himself to hot dogs in the park and hot chocolate before heading back to the Honky Tonk. Kazuki was fairly certain he'd never heard Ginji talk so much in a single day as he did in that one afternoon, and sitting there on a park bench with his fingers curled about one of the warm cups and watching Ginji as the blonde tried to feed leftover remains of his hot dog bun to the pigeons brought back a slew of memories of Raitei playing kick-ball with the Lower Town children. It brought back memories of cold nights made warm by Ginji's hands and breath and arms all around him. 

He took Ginji back to the Honky Tonk without incident, bid him quietly goodbye, and retreated without so much as leaving his phone number. Ginji didn't think to ask for it, still unused to the novelty of a telephone. 

When Kazuki arrived back at his apartment, the door swung shut noiselessly behind him. He locked it, took off his jacket, and stared out over the living room in all its silence. 

"I'm home..." 

Words echoed off the walls and resonated in his ears, in his head. It felt like a lie every time he came into the miserable little place and said those words, and tonight, it felt even more so than usual. He made his way slowly into the bedroom, readied himself for bed and lay down. 

For the first time since leaving Mugenjou, he cried. 

**

XLIII.

**   
The better he got at his job, the easier it became to do. For that reason, Shido wasn't quite as difficult to track down as Kazuki thought he'd be. It just took some patience and time, and soon he was creeping around the perimeter of Akutsu's mansion, peering over one of the tall stone walls to get a glimpse of the Beastmaster beyond it. 

Shido, unlike everything else seemed to have, hadn't changed at all. He still wore the same earthy-colored clothes, that bandanna... still sat hunched back with his shoulders rolled slightly forward and his eyes alert and flicking around. As alert as he was, however, he didn't spot Kazuki. The thread-user managed his way up and over the wall, dropped soundlessly to the grass below and snuck his way up behind the tree Shido was leaning against. 

No matter how silent he was, Shido was still impossible to sneak up on. Whatever he couldn't see or hear, chances were he could smell it. As Kazuki craned around the tree and leaned down, a large hand shot up and snagged hold of one of the long, tied strands of his hair and yanked. With a yelp, Kazuki toppled forward and landed right beside him on the grass. Shido looked down at him, and after a silent moment, he laughed. 

"You should see your face. You look like such a cat with a 'meant to do that' expression." 

"Shut up." Kazuki tried to pry Shido's fingers open. "How did you hear me?" 

"I didn't," Shido admitted. "I smelled you. You still smell like a girl." The thread-user swatted at his shoulder and got up as Shido released his hair. "What are you doing here?" 

"Looking for you, of course. I haven't seen you since you left Mugenjou." 

"Nnh." The Beastmaster's eyes trailed elsewhere. "Maybe because I didn't want to be found." 

"That's too bad. You didn't specify that before leaving." 

"Don't use that tone; I already know that you left, too. Where's Juubei and Sakura?" When Kazuki said nothing, Shido's head whipped around to look at him incredulously. "You left them...?" 

"It was for their own good," Kazuki insisted stubbornly. "I don't want to talk about it." 

"Tch'. Suit yourself." 

Kazuki straightened and settled beside the larger man, fingers playing through the grass idly. After a moment of silence, he piped back up with, "I found Ginji-san." 

"So did I." Shido's voice was a little tense. 

It was Kazuki's turn to look at him, eyes wide. "You did? What did he say to you?" Maybe Shido had thought to ask him all the questions Kazuki had failed to bring up. 

"Nothing. I haven't talked to him, I just said I _found_ him." He gave a flippant wave of his hand. "I'll be seeing him, soon enough. The stupid guy he's with, too." 

"Midou Ban..." he breathed out the name, quietly thoughtful as it played across his tongue. Interesting name, though nothing he'd attempted to look up on it came out. Either it wasn't his legitimate name, or the Midou family was rather private in their affairs. 

"Yeah. Midou." The way it was growled out through Shido's teeth was significantly different than how it sounded coming from Kazuki. "Akutsu - the guy I'm working for - is planning something pretty big. If I know Ginji like I think I do, I'll get to see him soon enough." He left it at that, and Kazuki didn't press farther. 

Somehow, though, he wasn't sure he would like this little plan. 

**

XLIV.

**   
Ban's wrist was still a little tender from the thread that had been wrapped around it a few nights prior. That, or perhaps he was simply irritated that Kazuki had caught him in the first place. He rubbed at it absently, giving it a bit of a scowl, but stopped immediately the split-second he noticed Kazuki entering the Honky Tonk. 

Given the last few times Kazuki had seen the man, this was the first time he'd gotten a _good_ look at Midou Ban. He'd been certain it was only the light that had made Ban's eyes look so unnaturally bright beneath the moon atop Akutsu's mansion only a few days prior. They looked even brighter now. 

It was only natural to smile at the man, bells tinkling quietly from their resting place as he eased onto the seat beside Ban at the bar. "Good afternoon, Midou-kun." 

Ban's only reply was a grunt, as he lifted his coffee cup containing the words 'Property of the Invincible Midou Ban-sama' and downing its remaining contents. "Natsumi, refill please." 

Kazuki watched him carefully, not bothering to ask where Ginji had disappeared to. He would be back soon enough, Kazuki figured. "I suppose you and I got off on the wrong foot," he attempted lightly. "Perhaps we should start over. I'm Fuuchouin Kazuki, it's nice to meet you." 

The other brunette glanced over at him slowly, raising a brow. "Already knew your name, Threadspool." He took up the refilled cup of coffee, looking away again and seemingly disinterested in the way Kazuki twitched and frowned at him. To his credit, however, Kazuki didn't try to correct him. If Ban were so inclined to call him by his name, he would have done so the first time. "Ginji's out, if you're lookin' for him." 

"I was, yes." He regarded Ban through half-lidded eyes. "But if you don't mind, I'll just wait here for him with you." 

"Look, if you're here to attempt being all buddy-buddy with me, Threadspool, don't waste your time. I was just leaving." Ban took another drink of coffee, pushed the stool back and stood. Kazuki's eyes followed him. 

"I just thought..." he began slowly, "I mean, Ginji-san is a very dear friend of mine, and I thought it might be a good idea to get to know the man he seems to look up to so much. You must be very special to him indeed, Midou Ban-kun, for him to leave Mugenjou to be with you." To Kazuki's credit, he managed to keep the venom out of his voice. 

Ban nudged up the dark shades on his nose, peering over the tops of them at Kazuki. "He left Mugenjou because he had to." 

Blink. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"If you don't know, then maybe you should stop bein' such a whipped dog and ask him yourself." 

He left the Honky Tonk, then, with a chime of bells on the front door and leaving Kazuki sitting there, scowling after him. 

**

XLV.

**   
The air of spring was cool and fresh to Kazuki's senses. The snow had long since melted and with it, some of Kazuki's depression faded along with it and apathy settled in instead. There were good things in his life - he had Ginji-san and Shido around again for occasional company and that in of itself lifted his spirits. 

The first time Ginji came to his apartment, it was in the dead of winter and Ban said he had something to go do that night. He apparently didn't elaborate and Ginji was never inclined to push his partner when he didn't want to talk about something. Ban had been quiet all morning, withdrawn the last few days, Ginji said, and so if Ban-chan wanted some alone time then Ginji was more than happy to give it to him. 

As such, Kazuki quickly offered his apartment for Ginji to stay at overnight, just in case Midou-kun hadn't returned by then. Ginji protested at first, insisting he didn't want to be in the way, and only after a bit of convincing did he reluctantly agree. 

It occurred to Kazuki that it would be the first time in years he had Ginji-san completely and utterly to himself. Hell, even in the days of the Volts, there'd always been the risk that someone would interrupt them without bothering to knock. 

Now, he had the blonde all alone, watching as Ginji meandered around the small apartment and looked as though it was the nicest home he'd ever seen. "It's a great place, Kazu-chan." 

Kazuki shrugged out of his jacket and hung it over the back of a dining room chair, managing a small smile. "It suits my needs for the time being. Make yourself at home." 

And later that night, when Kazuki was undressing to slip into his night-clothes, Ginji sat on the edge of his bed with his hands resting on his knees and watching him. "Don't you get lonely," he asked matter-of-factly, "living here all by yourself?" 

The brunette stopped, turned slightly and looked over one slim shoulder at him. Before replying, he looked straight ahead again and pulled the large t-shirt over his head, smoothing a hand down the wrinkled front. "It's fine. I have work to keep me occupied." 

"That's not what I asked..." he trailed off, long lashes lowering over his amber eyes. "I mean, Shido's got Madoka-chan but you're here by yourself. I just worry about you, Kazu-chan, that's all." 

Kazuki bit back the initial comment that came to mind, and turned around fully to look at him with a small smile. "Please, don't worry about me so much. I can take care of myself." 

Ginji lowered his head, but his eyes rolled back to peer up at his friend in a way that suggested he didn't quite believe him. "Yeah. I know, but still... It's not too late, you know, you could always go back to Mugenjou and get Juubei, I'm sure he'd-" 

"_No._" His tone was sharp, and the anger behind it silenced the former Volts leader. "With all due respect, Ginji-san, please..." his voice began to falter, quickly losing the steam it contained only a moment prior, "please, leave me to my own affairs. I'm fine; I don't need your concern or your pity." 

"I don't pity you," Ginji spoke, perfectly calm. "It was your decision to leave Mugenjou by yourself, so if you're lonely 'cause of that, then I can't very well feel sorry for you." _'Because you did it to yourself'_ were the words left unspoken in the air. 

"I'm _not lonely_," Kazuki snapped at him, but his voice cracked somewhere amongst the words, and he stood there with his legs bare and feeling notably exposed and vulnerable there in the middle of the room with Ginji studying him like some psychological nut-case. "I did what I had to do. I left them behind because they needed to live a life that didn't involve me! I'm not lonely. 

"I like being alone. I _like_ it. Is that so hard for you to just take and swallow because it would mean your psychological analysis of me is wrong? You don't..." he hiccupped back a sob, bells in his hair tinkling in tune with the way his body was trembling in anger, "you don't... know me at all. I've changed since you left. You leaving _changed me_." 

Through it all, Ginji listened, doing nothing more save for rising to his feet and daring to take a step closer. Kazuki shoved his hand away when he reached for the thread-user's face, and he lowered his lashes slowly. 

"I'm sorry," he murmured after a moment filled with nothing more than the sound of Kazuki's heavy breathing and attempt at fighting back tears. "I'm sorry that my leaving hurt you, Kazu-chan... But I had to. It was for everyone's own good." 

"Then _why_ did you have to go alone? I would have gone _with you_." It was hard to tell whether Kazuki's voice lowering back to its usual soft, quiet pitch was good or bad. Ginji couldn't help but think that a little occasional outburst from the calm man would be beneficial to him once in awhile. Kazuki's open hand hit his chest, though gently, as though he couldn't muster the energy to _really_ haul out and hit him. The brunette's head bowed, touched to Ginji's chest, and his shoulders shuddered as he hit his palm against the blonde again, equally light. "I would have gone with you anywhere..." 

"I know, I know you would have." This time, Kazuki didn't object to Ginji touching him, and the blonde did. He reached his large, warm hands up, cupping the slighter man's head gently and bowing his own to kiss the top of Kazuki's hair. "But I couldn't let you do that, you know? I'm sorry, Kazu-chan. I didn't leave because of something you did." 

When Kazuki leaned up to kiss him, there was a lack of response - a lack of fire that Raitei used to have, and Kazuki drew away with his lips still parted and looking both frustrated and crestfallen. There was warmth there, surely, but it was different and he didn't know how to explain it beyond that. 

Or perhaps, it was simpler than he was making it out to be. The Ginji from Mugenjou, leader of the Volts, no longer existed. In his place was a boy that smiled at everyone and had no want to lead anyone. He wanted to follow. He wanted to follow Midou Ban, and that thought made Kazuki sick to his stomach. Raitei - Ginji-san - should never follow _any_one. 

You_ are my leader. _You_. No one else. Kazuki of the Strings should bow to no one._' 

Toshiki's words rang in his head and it was like a swift punch to the gut. Everything Ginji had done wrong in Kazuki's eyes was, truly, no different than what he himself had done to his own followers - his own friends. His chest tightened. 

Ginji's voice didn't snap him out of the pain, merely reached him as though through a fog. "Kazu-chan... Can I ask you something?" 

His vocal cords strained with the effort to reply steadily. "Of course." 

The blonde touched him again; his face, his shoulders, his arms, trying to steady the way he was trembling. "Why didn't you ever tell me that you loved me?" 

Kazuki's eyes lifted slowly, focusing on him blearily through his tears and not daring to blink. _'Why indeed...'_ "Would you have wanted to hear it?" 

"It was all I ever wanted to hear back then," said Ginji levelly, and Kazuki felt his heart breaking the last few bits. "For awhile... I thought that maybe you were just doing it 'cause you thought it was what I wanted - and, I mean, it _was_, but I never would have wanted you to go along with it because of that... But you never said anything, never told me how you felt, so I thought that it-... I'm sorry, Kazu-chan." He pushed a hand back through his own hair, guilty, and Kazuki hated himself just a little more with each word. If he'd only spoken up, perhaps things would have been different. Perhaps, maybe, but, and, what if... He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. 

All the years spent, thinking that he'd viewed Raitei differently than all the others. They'd been lovers, _friends_, and in the end Kazuki still held him above such emotions as love and in need of companionship. He was no different than anyone else, and Kazuki had failed the test of proving he thought as much. 

Even at that moment, he could think of nothing to say except a quiet, helpless apology, and Ginji merely shook his head and smiled that beautiful smile and told him not to worry about it. They had good memories together, didn't they? And they were friends again - perhaps better than before. 

_'Says you,'_ Kazuki thought bitterly. 

He stayed the night, and Kazuki slept fitfully beside him, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him in the early hours of dawn. He almost did a few times; hand extending out towards the sleeping face beside him... and every time, he drew back sharply at the last moment, mentally scolding himself. 

When he finally slept, it was only for a few hours at best. 

He woke to find Ginji's hand resting over his own, their fingers laced together. 

**

XLVI.

**   
It was painfully obvious something had definitely changed between the GetBackers. 

Painfully obvious to Kazuki, at least, who noticed the subtle differences in the glances the two exchanged, or the way Ginji sat just a bit closer to Midou and maybe, just maybe, vice-versa. It took him a few days to place it, and when he finally did the answer he came to was a painful one. 

It made sense, really. It was only a matter of time before Ginji found someone else to share his nights with, but it hurt no less regardless. Kazuki still didn't trust that man - Midou Ban - nor was he convinced the Jagan user was safe or good for Ginji. It was only out of respect that Kazuki kept his mouth shut; Ginji-san was a big boy. If he was capable of leading the Volts, he was capable of choosing his own friends and lovers. 

Shido noticed, and Kazuki patiently tolerated the way the Beastmaster bitched and snarled about it when no one else was around. It shouldn't have bothered him so much, really, given that _he'd_ never harbored feelings for Ginji the way Kazuki had... but yet, he was the one that complained, and Kazuki sat silently and listened. Kazuki was certain that were Ginji involved with anyone that Was-Not-Midou-Ban, Shido would have nothing to say about it. He was only mildly inclined to agree. 

Midou Ban was indeed an interesting person, Kazuki had to admit. He was smarter than he let on. Much, much smarter. And there were things Kazuki began to pick up and learn about him that Ban would have obviously rather he not know. In a fit of anger one day, Himiko let it slip about Ban being her brother's murderer, but she refused to go into detail (Kazuki couldn't help but get the feeling that she didn't _have_ any details) and he wasn't one to pry. Eavesdrop, yes, but never pry. 

Ban was obviously well-versed in a few different languages; English, German, even a bit of French and Spanish in there somewhere. He also seemed to know a good deal about artwork and music, and also played the violin quite beautifully. Kazuki overheard him playing only once, when Madoka and Shido came into the Honky Tonk and Madoka and Ginji managed to coerce Ban into playing her violin. 

The tune was lovely and haunting, and the sound of the strings made Kazuki's fingers ache for the feel of a koto beneath them. They sounded entirely different, but they were strings all the same and with the notes came nostalgia. 

Intriguing man that Midou Ban was, he and Kazuki got along best when neither of them said a word. An invitation from Clayman brought them both to an art museum downtown, where they found themselves side by side and admiring a painting both had seen photos of but never laid eyes on in person. Ban glanced askance at Kazuki, who did the same, and they both quirked small, knowing smiles before looking straight ahead again. 

At the end of the day, Ban gave him a ride home to spare him a walk in the cold, though there was no real _offer_ about it. He simply glanced over, cocked his head and shoved a cigarette into his mouth as he said, "Well, you comin' or not?" 

Kazuki looked at him, zipping up the front of his jacket, and followed after without a word. Ban drove him to the front of his apartment building, said nothing as the thread-user slid out. He merely waved his hand absently when Kazuki thanked him, and drove off in the direction of the Honky Tonk while the older man watched him go. 

It was a simple gesture, one most people wouldn't have thought twice about. But this was Midou Ban and he simply didn't do nice things for people when there was nothing in it for him. At least, that was the impression Kazuki had of him. 

He quirked a small smile as he turned to head inside out of the cold. Perhaps his first impression had been wrong. 

Or perhaps Ginji-san was starting to rub off on him. 

**

XLVII.

**   
_"Pride won't fill an empty stomach." _

"I'm hungry, Ban-chan..." 

"Shut up already!" 

Ban's stomach growled, and Kazuki quirked a small smile. Natsumi chirped at Paul, requesting that she be able to treat the GetBackers to some form of lunch. _'Sweet girl, that one. Not like they'd ever be able to afford to pay her back.'_

Paul protested as he ran a hand back through his hair, and paid them no mind as the GetBackers proceeded to place an order that would never be filled. Kazuki eyed the blonde sitting there with such wide, hopeful eyes, sighed quietly and stood up from his seat. Watching the two of them resulted in him losing his appetite anyway, and so he circled around to where the younger men were sitting and placed the plate down in front of his ex-leader. 

"Take these if you'd like." 

Ginji's head turned quickly, staring at the sandwiches. "Can I...?" His face lit up, and he snagged one of the sandwiches from the porcelain before waiting for an answer. "Thank you, Kazu-chan!" 

Ban, meanwhile, cast the thread-user a reproachful glare, though Kazuki never took his eyes off of Ginji. "What're you doin' here, anyway?" 

"Someone called me here," Kazuki replied lightly, smiling. 

"Someone?" 

The front door of the Honky Tonk chimed in announcement of a customer, and all three specialists turned their heads to look. 

"Hevn?" 

"It was me. Ne, Kazuki of the Strings?" She winked at him, tossing her head to get the hair from her face and, sequentially, away from her shoulders and barely-concealed chest. 

Ban pushed his seat back and stood abruptly with a snarl. "If Hevn's here... what, does that mean you're gonna be a retrieval specialist like monkey tamer?!" 

Ginji stood as well, his eyes wide. "Ahh?! Even Kazu-chan wants to interfere with our work..." 

"No, no, I -" 

"You've both got it wrong," Hevn snorted, amused. "It's not like Kazuki-kun was the only one I called." 

After much bitching and griping - mostly from Ban's corner - Hevn managed to get their job explained. 

_'Mugenjou...'_ Kazuki mused quietly, after they'd made the trip to meet their client (if it could be called a meeting) and he had returned to the Honky Tonk with the GetBackers. He stole a moment to slip outside, leaning against the Subaru parked and gazing off at the fortress in the distance. Ginji joined him, the tiny car creaking beneath both their weight. 

"Mugenjou, huh..." 

"Is it okay, Ginji-san...? If you return to Mugenjou..." 

Ginji's brows drew together. "Ne, Kazu-chan... I think this incident is related to those two people." 

"If not both, then probably one of them," the slighter man agreed. "If not, then I doubt they'd have gathered you, Shido and me." 

"That's true." Ginji's expression looked a bit anxious. "So... maybe I can see them again." 

Kazuki turned his head, regarding his companion, and smiled faintly. "Yes, that's right." And after a moment, "There's someone I want to see in Mugenjou, too." 

When Ginji turned to look at him, he looked suddenly relieved and gave a knowing grin. "Ah, that guy, huh?" There was no need to point out that, yes, he'd been right about Kazuki being lonely, and had known all along the man had missed his best friend. 

"Of course, he's probably angry with me for leaving, too." His eyes flicked forward again, squinting towards the dark outline of Mugenjou. Ginji said nothing to that, because they both knew they had a lot of explaining to do in the days to come. The former leader exhaled, gave his friend's arm a reassuring squeeze, and disappeared back inside after Ban poked his head out the door and announced that Paul was feeding them and Ginji had better hurry if he wanted any of it. 

Kazuki listened rather than watched him go, and his eyes slid half-shut. He would be seeing Juubei soon, after all those years. He would be angry, yes. Sakura as well. In a way, Kazuki looked forward to it. He couldn't torment himself enough over his mistakes, and at least if the Kakei siblings would be angry with him, if they, too, would blame him for something for the first time in their lives, then perhaps his leaving would have had some sort of meaning. 

But more than anything, he would get to see them, see _Juubei_, and suddenly the world didn't seem so lonely anymore with the promise tomorrow brought. 

He went home by himself in the dark to his empty apartment, and lay down in bed. 

Tomorrow was a new day. 

He couldn't wait for it to begin. 

_.end._

. 


End file.
